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am I just sniffing glue again?

Back at the slammer we see Helena taking to hard time like a duck to water. Helena I am impressed by the way you work the prison yard. It seems all you needed to adjust to a life of crime was a toothpick and a daddy- working it out with your new partner in crime Dusty. Careful there, one should never get comfortable in prison, I mean it’s not exactly the Ritz, ya know?

Max’s “girlfriend” is back?! Where she come from?! Way to appear just in time to be the cute devil on Max’s shoulder telling him to stop doing women and go for it with interpreter man. The “devils” argument: Apparently there are no genes that designate what sex you’re attracted to, but there are genes that designate whether or not you’re attracted to the same sex as you. That sounds just crazy enough to work, what do you think Max?

In other news, I guess there’s nothing wrong with meeting someone on the internet; I mean however you want to find a hottie is up to you. But please don’t let your ex’s new lover help find you a date, Tina. Life is not that bad! And stop browsing profiles of people Shane has already slept with—no wonder you’re finding your dating pool to be so limited. But hang in there; you’re bound to find someone you can get along with. Maybe the cute blond heart doctor whose profile you browsed on OurChart? At least she asked you over and didn’t run after you talked about Bette all during dinner (I’m guessing this last part, only because the writers wanted to spare us with yet another awkward “I’m still in love with my ex, but gee I can’t wait to get to know you” first date.) That’s a step up for you!

Finally we see Tina get some dirty talking nookie (and some augmented booby). I hope this one sticks around long enough to get you over Bette. You deserve to be happy, and since Bette can’t get enough of Jodi (just ask Jodi), its probably best you move on.

We get to see Alice’s latest podcast interview: this week’s guest, JODI. My, oh my that will be interesting. Alice while you’re getting the dirt on whether artists do it in the dark like the rest of us, or just learning/making-up new ASL