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“Why you should pay your cable bill before buying a flat screen” OR “Are you sure sure about this next love?”

So, I know it’s been a couple of weeks. But honestly, the things I write about here are real life experiences. So with that said, you should really be glad it’s only been a couple of weeks. Trust me.

Anyways, let’s jump right in here!

I was talking to a friend of mine about (and don’t judge me when I say this, people actually tell me these things) women constantly giving me this line (including said friend): “You deserve so much better. I just feel like I can’t give you what you need.”

Meanwhile, we’re not discussing that line this week (but trust me, we’ll get to it). What we’re discussing is the deliciously ridiculous banter that came immediately following my query.

Her: It’s not like I didn’t want you then and only want you now. You know what the problem is? You required effort. And I ran from that. I chose what seemed easy and shiny but it wasn’t worth it. … But now, you … an us … feels like something that I could have afforded, but now, not only are my pockets empty, if I even had it to pay, you’re no longer an available option. 

Me: (Confused) Like … when you don’t pay your cable bill before the grace period runs out?

Her: Kind of. But it wasn’t like I couldn’t pay it. It was like, I chose not to … like “I’ll get to that later.” And then I went out and bought a flat screen to replace my current TV … like that was what mattered.

Me: Word. But then you dropped the flat screen on the way out the store?
Her: Worse. That sh*t was broken when I bought it.

Me: Ohhhh. And you now you want to watch TV on your old ish … but you don’t have cable … and they won’t even let you get an account using the same name!

Her: You’re cold.

Me: I’m just following along …

So … maybe you got lost somewhere along the way in this convo. No worries. I’ll help you out.

The point: I think Janet Jackson said it best when she sampled Joni Mitchell and sang, “Don’t it always seem to go that