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No, it's not a jokey fake headline from the Onion-- Mother Russia has indeed legally forbid gay pride for a full-on century, from March 2012 to March 2112. Maybe by the time it's over, the polar ice caps will have melted enough to make Russia a balmy and temperate country, where the government will become chillaxed enough to dispense with ridiculously dramatic rulings such as this. From Reuters:

Nikolay Alekseyev, one of the leaders of the Russian LGBT community and organizer of gay pride events, told reporters that he intended to appeal the decision in the Moscow City Court Presidium, and that if the highest Russian instance also rules against him, to address the European Court of Human Rights.

Alekseyev explained to the reporters that in 2011, the activists found a loophole in Russian legislation and submitted requests for 102 gay pride parades to the Moscow Mayor’s office. According to the activist, all they got in return was a letter with a quote from regulations, although the law obliges the city authorities to either allow or ban the planned event within 15 days.

At the same time, Alekseyev admitted that he and his comrades never hoped to actually receive a license for the parade but simply needed a formal excuse to turn to the European Human Rights Court.

^{You won't be seeing this sight any time soon...}

Oy vey, Russia. I'm beginning to understand why my great grandma peaced out back in the 1920's. But on the plus side, it's bound to produce a few more brilliant and oppressed novelists for the 22nd century's beleaguered high school students to slough through before the AP exams.