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You know, I was willing to overlook Cookiegate last week; I mean, really, those cookies did not look apealing. They looked like the cookies my Italian grandmother would sometimes make (she was a brilliant cook, not a brilliant baker) and that you can find in any "Italian" bakery in America, especially in New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania (where Cookiegate took place). These cookies are oddly shaped, too hard, and too buttery; I refused to eat them when my nonna would place them in front of me. Non me piace las galletas!

Pearlgate, however, is a different story. 

The Romney campaign recently hired out homo Richard Grenell to serve as its spokesperson on national security and foreign affairs (who will no doubt ensure that America will not be sodomized by any other country's nukes!). Well, this is what Dick said:

Dick also thinks Maddow is a "dead ringer" for Justin Bieber—which makes me think that this GAY man has not come across too many lesbians in his BIG GAY LIFE, because Maddow is no Biebian. 

But, back to Pearlgate: Dick's comment made me hit Google Images to see if Maddow has indeed never been photographed wearing a necklace. I could find no evidence of necklace wearing (save the infamous high school photo, below)—and I too refrain from wearing necklaces. The only necklace that I have kept since my childhood is the one given to me by said nonna who, when placing it in my hand, told me she was dying of cancer. (I do not wear this necklace. And, I've come to notice that the only time I'll wear a necklace, and wear it religiously, is when one is given to me by the person I'm dating. Ie, necklace = in a relationship. No necklace = single.) 

I'm frankly not quite sure what Dick's comment was supposed to imply.... that "real" women wear necklaces? Is Maddow a threat to national securiy because she does not wear one...on tv? Surely Dick realizes that she's not a "dead ringer" for the Biebs since she does not wear one. Exhibit A:

(Justin Bieber wears a necklace. Is he then more or less of a woman than Maddow?)

Dick, I have to hand it to you, your comment's a headscratcher to this moronic lesbian! 

I'd be remiss if I didn't show the infamous high school photo (Exhibit B) of Maddow when she apparently was (more of) a woman:

(Maddow with & without necklace)

Shouldn't a spokesperson for national security and foreign affairs talk about, well, issues pertinent to national security and foreign affairs, rather than some lesbian's lack of lustrous accoutrements? I think her collarbone looks just lovely without it, nota bene. 

Or, perhaps I want to say this: stop being such a lesbophobic dick, Dick. There's very little that pisses me off more than when gay men rag on lesbians. Really. RILLLY. It's beyond infuriating. It's also, more importantly, symptomatic of the sexism still pervasive within the LGBT community that continues to divide gay men and lesbians. Yes, what drives a lot of homophobia within the community is genderphobia (especially against "effeminate" men, "masculine" women, and the trans* community at large), but I think, even more foundational and detrimental, is the sexism that operates just as extensively within the LGBT community as the hetero community because, like it or not, the world is a patriarchy. 

Dick's comment is also, more specifically, a type of lesbophobia that is directed at the precious species of the butch woman that is, to my utter lament (because I love, and I mean LOVE, butch women), disappearing from our community.

Within the context of American politics, Dick's comment also bespeaks the blatant anti-women—yes, all women, of all genders and sexual orientations and colors and shoe sizes etc etc—rhetoric of the GOP. No, Dick's comment doesn't carry the same force or effects as, say, the new law in Topeka, Kansas, that legalizes domestic violence against women. But it's still a sign.