I didn't know what to expect when I attended my first Miss LEZ Pageant this past Sunday night, 18 March. Sure, I've seen Murray Hill perform before (I LURV his XMas Special!) and have always left the show at the end of the evening with tears streaking down my face and side-stiches. But this was different...could Murray win my affection outside a Rudolph suit?
Well, the Miss LEZ 2012 Pageant did not disappoint (even though The Real L peeps showed up to film their "reality"). Why? Two words:
Miss "Wild Card," Chocha Libre aka Sophia Urista, rocked my—and the collective audience's—world. She easily took home the crown after a dazzling Tina Turner rendition (see the below video), although Miss "Choice Cunts" gave her a solid run for the crown—despite a too derivative-of-Gaga move of spouting blood during a performance.
As someone with an unabashed love of butches, I was disappointed and, at times, slightly confused by Miss "Dapper Q," Lea Robinson, and her two cronies (for lack of a better term). Our very own publisher, Grace Moon, had the honor of serving as one of six judges on Murray's esteemed panel, and she even just walked off the stage after Dapper Q refused to answer her question (which was a BRILLIANT question).
(Miss Dapper Q could not let the bowtie go. .... Please, please, just let it go...)
Miss "Hey Queen," Brown Meshugena, also deserves a shout out for an amazing ass...er, I mean, performance, in which she made her ass dance like I've never seen an ass dance before. There needs to be a line in the U.S. national athem dedicated to the amazing "waves of brown" that flowed during her dance.
Miss "Que(e)ry," Bambi Galore (who figures as the X-MEN glowing figure in this piece's promo pic), won Miss Congeniality, and even made out with Miss "Wild Card" after the latter was awarded the crown. Oh, and she gave her a nice pussy-rub too ... ya know, for good measure.
Rounding out the contestants was Miss "Rebel Cupcake," an Emma Stone (to clarify, a redheaded Emma Stone) look-alike who was adorable but who just could not keep pace with The Crazy unfolding on the stage.
I've boiled down The Crazy to about 8 minutes; enjoy!