Which Closet Lesbo is Stepping out on Cinco de Gayo?

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Which Closet Lesbo is Stepping out on Cinco de Gayo?

In case you live under a rock and haven't heard, some high profile lady celeb is supposed to come out on May 5. Everyone has been laying down bets about who it's going to be, and up until now we couldn't bring ourselves to care. It's not that we don't like gay celebs, but what's with all the hoopla? Fish or cut bait, as they say.

But finally curiousity got the best of us and we started gay celeb baiting with the rest of them. Stay tuned for our official Vp roundup of celebs who need to come out already, our list hits the internets Sunday.

In the meantime, I chatted up my gay-celebrity-gossip-knowing ex to see what sort of grist was in the celesbian rumor mill.

Diana: Who do you think is going to be the new gay celeb on Cinco de Gayo?

ExGF: It appears everyone’s money is on the Queen.

Diana: Autostraddle says Shelby Lynne but I have no idea who she is.

ExGF: I heard Shelby Lynne too, but who the fuck knows who she is besides me? I have listened to her forever and I knew she was the gay from day one.

Diana: Of course you’d know who she is. She certainly seems like she’s got a touch of the gay. But I think she’s too obscure to get booked on The View. I think it's Michelle Rodriguez

ExGF: No way.

Diana: Yeah way.

ExGF: But she is not a music star. Also we don't want her, she is the cray cray.

Diana: I know! But she just dj’d a lesbo party in NYC hosted by that little gay futch unicorn, Dani Campbell. Since when does Michelle Rodriguez dj lesbian parties?

ExGF: I don’t think she is in the closet.

Diana: No way, dude. She wrote that rambling manifesto on her blog about how she was definitely not gay and has never been gay.

ExGF: Listen cocaine is a helluva drug. You know that girl do it. She gonna be up three days writin' crazy stuff about how she ain't gay. Meh. I hope it's Kelly Clarkson.

Diana: I hope it's Kelly Clarkson! We want her! Maybe it's Shiloh Jolie Pitt?

ExGF: Some are saying it’s Venus Williams. Rumors are she has a ladyfriend.

Diana: Oh please god make it be Venus Williams. I'll do anything. I'll give up red meat and masturbating.

ExGF: Coming out just don't pack the punch it once did. Look at Ricky Martin, it was barely a blip in the news. The real news is Sandra Bullock keeping that baby secret! She has an air tight entourage!

Diana: Maybe she’s gay?

ExGF: Sorry, you're just gonna have to wait for your People mag to come in the mail



Comments [57]

Robin Rigby's picture

Have we all forgotten that

Have we all forgotten that this is not the first time that a celebrity made a big deal of their coming out?   Building anticipation for weeks before finally granting an exclusive interview.  Does the name Ellen Degeneres sound familiar?  We all loved her for it then.  Maybe it's because everyone loves Ellen, she's just too damn likable.  But lets not skewer this new woman for repeating something one of our favorite celebs already did and was applauded for. 

Tex's picture

Hollywood....

Absolutely! Meredith Baxter! Ellen! Marketing yourself is your life in 'Hollywood'! This is what you do. I think it's a good move on whomever's part. Put it out there - in your own positive way - in your own time - in your own words. This person is making something beautiful positive before the negative hetero fanatics can make something horrible of it. It makes perfectly good sense. So what if someone sells a few more records or books or whatever from it? Good enough for the sister! Hollywood heteros do it all the time. Why is it okay for them but not for us? 

And.....won't it be nice when no one feels they have to announce their sexuality?

Twitter Time @kdhales

ren's picture

.

it's oprah

Joanne Robertson's picture

For those wondering...

This is Shelby Lynne ... it's an old one, but I just LOVE how this video is shot:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKzeXtu9P78&feature=fvst

I'm kind of hoping it's not her, as her personal life is known to be a bit tragic.

There's always Sheryl Crow .... I'm sure she's gone there, though I'm not sure that she's an "announcement" kind of lady Laughing out loud

Tex's picture

Yo, JR!

Move on down the thread - I put up a vid of Sheryl and Shelby together! You're gonna love it.....two birds, baby! Speaking of two birds....take a look at the Sarah McLachlan and Paula Cole vid also! 

Twitter Time @kdhales

Tex's picture

Sarah McLachlan!

Sarah's new single "Loving You Is Easy" becomes officially available on May 4th! Just in time for Lilith too......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YS1RwFhiYis

Twitter Time @kdhales

Conlite's picture

How will we ever sustain this

How will we ever sustain this level of excitement for a whole 'nother four days!!!!!  Smile

Diana Cage's picture

Well if this is right,

Well if this is right, McCartney guessed it first!!

http://www.queerty.com/country-singer-chely-wright-is-almost-certainly-m...

Kelly McCartney's picture

I appreciate the props.

What do I win? I had money on it!

 

Won't you be my neighbor? @theKELword

Tex's picture

You know something we don't, 'O Musical One?

She's a gorgeous woman....

Twitter Time @kdhales

Kelly McCartney's picture

I surely do.

Apparently know something most people don't. Only reason Queerty figured it out was that someone at People mag handed it to them. Psshaw!

Won't you be my neighbor? @theKELword

Tex's picture

Alexandra Hedison!

Shelby Lynne is linked to Alexandra Hedison! Holy cow! If she has been bopping Alex, she can say whatever she wants to say whenever she wants to say it! 

"Did You Tell Her?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rZrgu-8mw0

Twitter Time @kdhales

Conlite's picture

Off topic:  Have you taken up

Off topic:  Have you taken up bass guitar?  It is a pretty colour red anyway.  Smile

Tex's picture

On your topic: yes, I have!

Like that pretty metal flaked red, do ya now? Got a sweet short scale bass to get back in the groove...I need to exercise my mind and keep the fingers agile! What do you think I need to name her?

Twitter Time @kdhales

Conlite's picture

No idea for a name, but if

No idea for a name, but if its a short scale one, then I think mine is just like it (red also).  Unfortunately some loose contacts in it somewhere mean it the sound sometimes disappears for no reason.  This has discouraged me from learning to play it.  :(  Good luck with getting yours going though!

Lake's picture

UMMMMMM........'Lucky'  comes

UMMMMMM........'Lucky'  comes to mind!! Wink

Lake

Grace Moon's picture

omg

its totally Shiloh Jolie Pitt!

tweet tweet @gracemoon

mickey06's picture

...

LMBO!!! I second that

minniesota's picture

In the future

Grace, that could happen on May 5, 2022. Smile.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Rusty's picture

Welcome

Good luck and welcome to the club whoever you are. We are a kind and nurturing and welcoming community.

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

Lake's picture

LMAO!!!!

Made me giggle this morning!!!!     Hope all is well....it's been awhile my friend!!!

Lake

Rusty's picture

Glad to oblige. How have you

Glad to oblige. How have you been?

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

Lake's picture

Good....

Enjoying the Illinois Spring!!!   Windy!     Ready for a beer fest.....working my way up from PBR...LOL!!!

Lake

Rusty's picture

PBR‽

Don't even use that PBR word.

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

Robin Rigby's picture

But wait, you just used that

But wait, you just used that PBR word. Smile

Lake's picture

LMAO!!!

It was a buck...and that's all I can say about the evening!!!   HAHAHA

Lake

Rusty's picture

yabbut

Yabbut, a pint of Newcastle is only about $2.75 and it's worth a six-pack of that yellow fizzy crap.

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

ShadowCat's picture

who the

hell is shelby lynne..and nicky minaj? don't you think with all the hoopla that it would be some one more well known. my bet would be on the queen.

and as for m-rod, anyone that adamantly tries to deflect her orientation as much as she is, is just about admiting that she is truly homo.

*sorry if this doesn't make sense, i'm kinda tipsy right now :\

Tex's picture

AMY COOK!

okay, she came out a long time ago, but I want her to again!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhS4e3OZ2WM

Twitter Time @kdhales

Lake's picture

Hey .....

I'm digging her hair!!!!    Love the video!!!  

Lake

Diana Cage's picture

please god can it be nicky

please god can it be nicky minaj? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru4NeTNiK-A

 

Medjool's picture

I don't know who these country singers are but

Nicki Minaj is (awesomely) openly bisexual. Yay team =) http://www.details.com/celebrities-entertainment/music-and-books/201005/...

Tex's picture

She'll do!

Um huh!

Twitter Time @kdhales

Lake's picture

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNN

Tex's picture

She'll do BUT

I think she's gonna be a 'musical' personage

Twitter Time @kdhales

Lake's picture

True......

Hey I'm going to make another drink and NOT get personal here......Have a great night!!!  Wink

Lake

geek4grammar's picture

this is a bunch of stupid bullcrap

yeah, I've been hearing about the may 5th coming out story in people, too-- but I'm too annoyed at this point to give a fuck about who it is. I'm sorry, if you wanna come out, come out-- but don't treat it like fucking may sweeps, man. that's just shallow and lame. 

We're all born naked. The rest is drag.
--RuPaul (appropriating Judith Butler for the masses...)

MacLass_19's picture

Right on g4g

It's obviously a major publicity stunt for a LOSER who's career is in the toilet... Why do some gays wanna fuck around like this? Like you said, come the fuck out or shut the fuck up! Well, maybe you didn't say that, that's my twisted interpretation of your words...

Smile

Lake's picture

Where is your pic.....

Come the fuck out ....as you say!!!!!

Lake

MacLass_19's picture

Lake, huh ??

What does MY picture have to do with this article? Why do you constantly feel compelled to make things personal? I would appreciate it if you stop.

Lake's picture

Jeeezzzz...

Fun time is over!!!!     

Lake

Tex's picture

Oh good gosh, MacL

she and I were having some - or trying to have some fun with you. Our comments both came up at about the same time! Why can't you have some fun with us?

Twitter Time @kdhales

Tex's picture

Then come out!

Throw up a sexy pic, MacL!   hehehehehe

Twitter Time @kdhales

Tex's picture

Aw now, G4!

I think it's kinda fun! I think we all should have had a party and such when we come/came out! The world would be one ol' big gay party....

Twitter Time @kdhales

geek4grammar's picture

not quite the same thing...

I agree, the idea of celebrating your coming out is awesome, but this doesn't like it's about celebrating-- it's a cheap stunt to boost sales of that issue of people. hence my referencing of may sweeps, which is another area where the mainstream media seem to have no problem dangling the possibility of something gay going on, just to boost ratings at a particular time of the year; and it's always some cheap stunt. it's never like, "oh, one of our main characters is in a for-real gay relationship now!"

...I know that this person is in fact for-real gay, but it still feels like a publicity stunt. I think it would be a lot classier to just come out to the audience you already have, rather than trying to make sure the world and their ass are all watching just out of hollywood gossip curiosity. 

We're all born naked. The rest is drag.
--RuPaul (appropriating Judith Butler for the masses...)

Tex's picture

Just maybe

someone is trying to control a situation that really shouldn't be a situation at all. In a perfect world no one should have to announce their sexuality, but that's not how it is. The 'announcing' of their sexuality has worked out well in the past for celebrities that chose to do it that way. Publicity stunt? I don't think so. Survival? Probably.

Twitter Time @kdhales

Diana Cage's picture

AMEN. And that, my sister, is

AMEN. And that, my sister, is why I couldn't get into it. But like I said, we finally gave in. Peer pressure.

geek4grammar's picture

it's cool

yeah, I know that at a certain point you are kind of obligated to participate in the conversation. that's the responsibility you bear as a media outlet Wink

We're all born naked. The rest is drag.
--RuPaul (appropriating Judith Butler for the masses...)

Tex's picture

Aw now 2 above ya!

Aw now!

Twitter Time @kdhales

Diana Cage's picture

I came up with a list of

I came up with a list of people I think it could be but I have to save my big reveal for Sunday when we put out our official list. Everyone is now saying that Autostraddle is right and that it's that Shelby person. But I hope not! I want it to be someone I actually care about and have heard of...