Vajazzling: The Latest in Vagina Decor

Diana: Hi Grace! What do you think about vajazzling?
 
Grace: Well I have to be honest. You know I like hair on my v-jay. But I'm fine with variations on others
 
Diana: Having seen photos of you showering in Angela Jimenez' Welcome Home: Building The Michigan Womyns Music Festival, I'm just going to say you have quite an impressive bush.
 
Grace: No, my vag isn't that hairy anymore. But lets talk about yours, I hear it looks like Moby's head.

 
Diana: Well yes, I may as well come out about it. I was the victim of an unfortunate laser hair removal accident. My muff is now permanently muffless.
 
Grace: So tell me, it’s like a halo around your mound? Do you have a halo of hair like an old supreme court justice?
 
Diana: Well, more like a prize winning Chinese Crested at the Westminster Dog Show. I had my area 51 lasered, but only my errr… mound of venus stayed completely bare.
 
 
Grace: I got a haircut. Mine looks like this now:

 
Diana: Oh wow! Your bush used to look like Malcolm Gladwell!

 
Grace: BTW, What is a vajazzling?
 
Diana: Vajazzling is getting Swarovski crystals glued to your hairless mons. It was first done by a salon in Manhattan called Completely Bare but then Jennifer Love Hewitt talked about it on TV and now its the new thing.

Grace: I've seen the pictures. I like it. I think if there could be a light bulb attached somewhere it would be a perfect decoration for a dinner party.

Diana: I was thinking it might be the solution to my hairless situation? Like a blingy fig leaf of sorts?
 
Grace: OK so what design would you get? You can't have a Jackson Pollock smattering of crystals, thats too mid century.
 
Diana: Right. Well the Prof wants me to spell out her name but that seems so déclassé.
 
Grace: Unless you do it in braille, that would be cool.
 
Diana: OK what design would you get?
 
Grace: Something cosmic. The planet Saturn with the rings. Or maybe the symbol Om. But then someone going down on me may go into meditation, so maybe not that.
 
Diana: You could get all the colors of the chakras in different colored crystals.

 
Grace: Yeah, but that would take up a lot of space, and someone could choke.
 
Diana: Oh right, this could be a choking hazard. Vajazzling should come with a warning label.
 
Grace: I think you should get a princess tiara.

Diana: Well, I don’t think I want to get vajazzled afterall, now that you brought up the choking hazard. Liederman's coming over in a few hours. Maybe we can talk her into it?
 
Grace: Is her mons bald, too? Does anyone sprout hair any more?
 
Diana: No, I think she has hair.
 
Grace: Is it a butch-femme thing?
 
Diana: Dude, I don’t know! I guess the rest of Vp will have to tell us what sort of vulvar decor they think is best.