ThreeWay: Hot Lesbian Witches

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ThreeWay: Hot Lesbian Witches

and religious diversity. Besties forevs!

Katie: Yeah, I had a hideous experience. I've been playing phone tag with the director of the center, trying to get a straight answer out of him as to how they are going to rectify the situation they currently have happening. Problem is I signed up for this Ayurvedic nutrition class and it's taught by one of the center's founders. So it's not so easy to just fire or replace her. And she's the one who said things like, “People who experience same-sex attraction are imbalanced.”


Katie: As I kept raising my hand, time and time again, asking for clarification, thinking there was no real way this was actually happening. In 2011. In NYC.

Julia: So horrifying.

In a center that also offers classes on hypnosis, crystal-oriented things, massage (a.k.a. lesbian).

Julia: What bothered me the most when we first talked about this is when you said that no one else in the class spoke up.

Nope. Everyone else in class acted like I was beating a dead horse as the instructor  clarified, over and over, that yes, she meant IMBALANCE, and that fortunately, said individuals can be HEALED through this ancient practice of Ayurveda. That anyone—even people who suffer from same sex attraction—can find wholeness and happiness if they know how to integrate certain yogic, meditative and nutritional habits and practices into their day to day…

Amy: I never knew they could have something in common with evangelicals.

Julia: Alert the family research council! A cure has been found! headdesk

Amy: Haha. I'm sorry to hear that. It sucks when you spend your money on stuff that ends up being that way. Especially if you were excited about it. Which I assume you were if you signed up.

Julia: How long has it been since you raised the issue with the director of the center?

Katie: Like two weeks. But we keep going back and forth. I wrote him a scathing letter. It was terrifying. I was quaking as I read it back to myself.

Julia: Aw. Why terrifying?

Katie: Because I was menacing and angry and right.

Lesbian Witchery 101: Tiny Tinkerbelle lights not included.

Julia: Awesome. I'm so glad that you are speaking up and staying on them, though. A place like that, of ALL places, really needs to know better.

Amy: Yeah, don't back down!

Katie: I know.

Amy: Sic all the lesbian witches on them!

Do you guys know any Wiccan lesbians? I don’t. I wish I did.

Julia: I thought I was going to be Wiccan when I grew up. But even that religion is too organized for me.

Amy: Hahaha. I can see that. It seems stringent.

Katie: You would make a hot witch. You should be a hot witch for Halloween next year.

Julia: I am a little witchy, in my own way.

As Goddess of the Moon, Diana wore a flowing luminescent robe, and sometimes, broadcaster headphones.

Amy: Jules…

Julia: Yes?

Amy: What is it Diana says about witchy femmes or something?

Julia: She says that all femmes do fortune-telling.

Katie:  I worship Diana. She's my religion.

Julia: Join the club, sister.

We should force her to be our femme cult leader.

Julia: I was JUST thinking that.

Amy: See! Psychic!


Comments [3]

Jenny Aisenberg's picture

oh, lesbian wiccans...

you guys crack me up. I think every teenage lesbo went through a wiccan phase, if not a straight pop-culture witch phase-- even nice Jewish girls like me! seriously, have any of us not read "to ride a silver broomstick?" ...and kept a wiccan journal as Ms. RavenWolf instructs? lol Smile

"We're all born naked. The rest is drag."
--RuPaul (appropriating Judith Butler for the masses...)

Tiff's picture


I feel like I'm missing something between pages 3 & 4. Is it possible a line or two was left out?

Also, it's interesting that you brought up women, religion, etc. Just posted this on facebook, today:

Oh, and remember how on an episode of the L Word, Jenny had this theory about lesbians wanting monkeys and straight girls wanting ponies (I def wanted a monkey) as kids? I've had a similar theory about young lesbians wanting to be witches whereas straight little girls want to be princesses. Smile

Julia Watson's picture

It looks like the picture

It looks like the picture caption got cut off and the remainder was printed in regular text instead of italics on the next page. Sorry, sometimes our formatting elves get a little tipsy.