The REAL L Word: It's On Like All-Kindsa Wrong
Remember that leaked The Real L Word: Los Angeles memo we were speculating about a few weeks back? Was it fake? Was it for real? Would we all survive another L World with its puppety strings consigned to the clutches of Ilene Chaiken?
Well, guess what! It is for really, really REALZ! Showtime just sent out an email to its mailing list advertizing the show as part of its 2010 schedule and containing a link to the following casting call announcement:
_________________________________________________________________________
THE REAL L WORD NOW CASTING: BE PART OF A GROUNDBREAKING SHOW!
BE PART OF A GROUNDBREAKING SHOW PRODUCED BY A TV DREAM TEAM!!
**NOW CASTING**
“THE REAL L WORD: Los Angeles”
Are you and your friends proof the The L Word exists in real life?
The L Word was a runaway iconic hit, affecting millions of lives – imagine what the real life version will do!
From Showtime, Golden Globe winner Ilene Chaiken (The L Word) and Magical Elves (Peabody Award-winning Project Runway & Emmy-nominated Top Chef) comes a documentary series about the real lives of lesbians.
THE REAL L WORD: Los Angeles will follow a group of real-life, high-profile, left coast lesbians as they go about their daily lives, at work and play. The producing team plans to show viewers that the cast can be every bit as glamorous, fashionable, fabulous and even as cutthroat as their celebrated-but-fictional counterparts.
We are currently seeking ladies from all walks of life to be the pioneering voices in this important series. Must be based in Los Angeles or moving soon to the area.
We want all types, from the power of Bette to the mojo of Shane.
Are you and your partner about to adopt? Do all the bouncers in WeHo know your name? Do you consider your friends family? Are you coming out of the closet and want to help others by sharing your journey? Are you or someone you know moving out to the more Sapphic-ly welcoming culture of L.A.? Are you a card-carrying 'power lesbian'?
Whatever your story, whatever your situation - we want to hear from you!
Please email casting@magicalelves.com; tell us about yourself, and include a recent photo.
_________________________________________________________________________
That is, word for word, the same announcement as contained on that leaked memo. For Magical Elves, their security sure sucks!
More lesbo TV news is coming this weekend via Boob Tube, but meanwhile, let's discuss. Would you audition for this? Which LA-dwelling leztastics would you like to watch on a reality TV show? Spill it, Parkers! Who would you cast?
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Comments [44]
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Mystic
Who knows, but that was fuckin' funny.
.
.
What kind of moron would
What kind of moron would respond to a casting call like this?
Whoever they choose
I just hope they are sane ... that's all, just sane lesbians who are able to keep their dignity intact (most of the time).
They won't be. Sanity and
They won't be. Sanity and dignity do not make for good TV.
It should ...
I think it's a shame that only messed up, psycho, obnoxious, loud, freak show humans get picked for tv now. We need to quit rewarding assh*les.
It's may be a shame, but the
It's may be a shame, but the facts are that no one would watch normal, well-adjusted people. Entertainment, whether it's TV, movies, or plays are about drama. If there is no tension then there is nothing to see and no one watches. In a scripted show writers have a chance to create a different kind of tension, one that exists under the surface and is often subtextual. It's impossible to do that in unscripted TV. The only way your dream is going to come true is if the networks move away from reality TV.
what this tells me
sho must be having problems casting, not enough people responding.
as it turns out the mystery press release has been posted for weeks. now they've started spamming their email list?
tweet tweet @gracemoon
hmmm
Pure speculation on my part, but I'll bet they're not finding the "right" lesbians.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
Rusty, you should totally
Rusty, you should totally audition. How awesome would it be if they cast you?
Thanks, but hell no
Sure Robin, but only after someone makes this phone call: Hello Hell. We're missing a Zamboni machine. Is it down there?*
Fuck to the no.
*I love making hockey references in 80 degree weather.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
Are you saying there's no
Are you saying there's no zambonis in hell?
Honestly, I would watch a show with you in it. It would be awesome!
No Beer
No Zambonis is hell and no beer in heaven:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDael08JA4Y
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
No beer in heaven?! What
No beer in heaven?! What fucking moron thought up that idea?
In the beginning
"What fucking moron thought up that idea?"
Well . . . . .The Hopi creation myth is one of my personal favorites. When I was still teaching speech and a student would ask if they could do a persuasive speech in favor of teaching creationism next to evolution in public school I always asked if they'd be arguing in favor of the the Hopi or Navajo creation story. They rarely laughed but I never failed to crack myself up.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
Well shit
It is REAL,I am kinda glad.
I Would Not Could Not
With apologies to Dr. Seuss — here goes. (I split it up and I hope each chunk is small enough:
I am Ilene
I am Ilene
Ilene am me
That Ilene-am-me
That Ilene-am-me!
I do not like that Ilene-am-me
Would you try out for L-Word TV?
I would not try out, Ilene-am-me.
I do not like L-Word TV.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
continued
Would you try out
Here or there?
I would not try out
here or there.
I would not try out
anywhere.
I do not like
L-Word TV.
I will not try out,
Ilene-am-me
Would you try out
in TiBette’s house?
Would you try out
with a louse?
I will not try out
in TiBette’s house.
I will not try out
with a louse.
I will not try out
here or there.
I will not try out
anywhere.
I do not L-Word TV.
I will not try out, Ilene-am-me.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
continued
Would you try out
in a box?
Would you try out
with a fox?
Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in TiBette’s house.
Not with a louse.
I would not try out here or there.
I would not try out anywhere.
I would not try out for L-Word TV.
I do not like it, Ilene-am-me.
Would you? Could you?
in a titty bar?
Try out! Try out!
You’ll go far.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
continued
I would not ,
could not,
in a titty bar
You may make it.
You will see.
You may try out
in a tree?
No, not in a tree.
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a titty bar! You let me be.
I will not try out in a box.
I will not try out with a fox
I will not try out in TiBette’s house
I will not try out with a louse
I will not try out here or there.
I will not try out anywhere.
I do not like L-Word TV.
I will not try out, Ilene-am-me.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
continued
Carmen’s ass; Carmen’s ass
Carmen’s ass; Carmen’s ass
Could you, would you
with Carmen’s ass?
Not Carmen’s ass! Not Carmen’s ass!
Not in a titty bar! Ilene! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not try out with a louse
I will not try out in TiBette’s house.
I will not try out here or there.
I will not try out anywhere.
I will not try out, Ilene-am-me.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
continued
Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not,
in the dark.
Would you, could you,
in the rain?
I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train,
Not in a titty bar, Not in a tree.
I will not try out, Ilene, you see.
Not in TiBette’s house. Not in a box.
Not with a louse. Not with a fox.
I will not try out here or there.
I will not try out anywhere!
You do not like
L-Word TV?
I do not
like it
Ilene-am-me.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
almost done
Could you, would you,
with a poet?
I would not,
could not.
with a poet!
Would you, could you,
on The Love Boat?
I could not, would not, on The Love Boat.
I will not, will not, with a poet.
I will not try out in the rain.
I will not try out on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a titty bar! You let me be!
I will not try out in a box.
I will not try out with a fox.
I will not try out in TiBette’s house.
I will not try out with a louse.
I will not try out here or there.
I will not try out ANYWHERE!
I do not like
L-Word TV
I will not try out,
Ilene-am-me.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
Last one
You will not try out.
SO you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try L-Word TV
You may like it so I say.
Ilene!
I tried it for seasons six,
And every week I thought you’d fix.
Gaping plot holes, character slips
And all the‘ships that made us queasy
Instead, you shit on continuity
and killed off Schecter
Then dumped Our Chart for good measure
I’ll not try out for
or watch
your show so sleazy.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
Hahahahahahaha! I dunno,
Hahahahahahaha! I dunno, though. I might check out that fox. Or at least her box...
Thanks Julia, and if anyone
Thanks Julia, and if anyone comes up with better L Word references, I hope they do a re-write.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
Rusty....brilliant!!
“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.”
Lake
Ummm...
I'm not so sure how to reconcile "real-life, high-profile, left coast lesbians" with "ladies from all walks of life." Isn't the former a little bit limiting. I can't imagine any actual high-profile dykes would want to participate. But maybe Leisha will audition in her rocker chick alter-ego... since IC owes her one. And by one, I mean a series.
Won't you be my neighbor? @theKELword
IC to star
Can't you just see the 'pioneering' writing on the wall? Ilene can't find anyone as fabulous as her and her circle of friends, so....
drum roll
Showtime presents:
Pioneering producer/director/writer Ilene Chaiken brings her own 'ground-breaking' series to life by producing and starring in the real life LWord...
And hey, it's already set in LA--how convenient!
I'd rather see Ceara Sturgis in a series...
and how does one reconcile this:
the pioneering voices in this important series...
"pioneering"...important? just because it's lesbian and not straight in the cheapest/least expensive form of television production there is?
And Ilene won't even leave her backyard to make it?
Totally!
Hey, look everybody! I'm agreeing with AO!!!
I found that phrase to be rather self-aggrandizing, as well. Maybe we aren't aware of it, but 'pioneering' is actually a synonym for melodramatic or ego-centric or full of shit or...
Won't you be my neighbor? @theKELword
; )
I'm agreeing with AO!!!
It can happen to the best of us! I find myself agreeing with her all the time!
Excuse the jump between...
you got my comment - thanks, I don't have to write it now!
Going to be going through NY on the way home after the vote - let's hook up! Lake is coming to Maine the first of Nov to work and help keep me upright - and ride back with me. It would be great to get together - finally meet. Whatchya say? Give me a PM. I need to stop through and see Sabrina as well.
Twitter Time @kdhales
For real! As much as I bag on
For real! As much as I bag on LA, it's not thaaat bad. But seriously, you're not going to find dykes from all walks of life there!
If they could get Leisha or Alexandra Hedison or another out L Word actress, that show would be ratings gold.
"Being Real"
I know Alex is way too private to do it, and I'm betting Leisha is too.
Oh, you know who would soooo do it: that chick who was Jackie Warner's babe for a few minutes! The blonde with curly hair. She's always popping up with the power lezzies in photos trying to get more than her 15.
Won't you be my neighbor? @theKELword
Or Jackie herself...
or the bi chick that got into bed with JW will finally jump off the fence and land on the right side.....for one more reality show! Oh what's her name - the reality show hoe?
Twitter Time @kdhales
Is it ...
Rebecca???
Lake
Yes, thank you! Good morning,
Yes, thank you! Good morning, Lake - I have been given the morning off - actually ordered to stay away - rest! Going in around 2. Hope your day is going well...
Twitter Time @kdhales
Welcome....
Good Morning....or should I say Good Night!!
That's awesome...enjoy your morning!! You deserve it!!!
As soon as the caffeine leaves my system...I'm off to dream land!!
Lake
You should so move to CA it's
You should so move to CA it's not even funny. It's in the 80's today in the desert.
I'll see your 80's
It's in the 70's here at the coast. Sunny. Warm. God I love San Diego!
The Inland Empire reports in
The Inland Empire reports in at 95 degrees; it's almost 6 PM.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna
Si, Si
Si, that email just dropped into the email box. Hahaha. Y'all would cast me for sure, wouldn't you chicas? I could be the annoying one...er, the older butch...er, the short one looking for a tall one.
Anyway, should I move to Los Angeles? It's pretty cold here in Minneapolis.
~Da Mins
Still searching for the right brainy quote.
I would watch you
I would watch you in a box.
I would watc you in your socks.
Especially in your socks.