I love Needles...Allegedly

I have something I need to tell all of you. Here we go. Deep breath. I love Drag Queens. And when I say love I mean absolutely adore. It shouldn’t matter and probably doesn’t but every time I admit my drag love, I feel like that boy talking about how he sees dead people: Scared shitless I’m about to be judged or criticized. If anyone does judge me for it, they misunderstand this thing called drag, because it’s so much more than men in dresses. And Ms. Sharon Needles, you better work honey, because you have elevated this gig forevs.

I don’t necessarily have the hots for Ms. Needles, but to be fair there’s only one—no wait, two… okay three Drag Queens that I dig like a grave. That being said, there is something alluring about Sharon. Those haunting eyes, those Amanda Lepore lips, a killer foam-pad created figure… I simply scream for her daringly innovative aesthetic.

From the first episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 4, this soul-sucking vixen dug her stilettos into the soft, dark matter of my being. She gave post-zombie haut couture in a curve-hugging gown that barely survived the RuPocalypse. Her mug was beaten to spooky perfection with accent sores because, really, who’s getting out of the apocalypse without a few gaping wounds? She took runway haunt into a completely different realm by letting blood slowly pour out of her mouth. I realize digging this makes me a little odd, but the complete visual was astonishing. Every Sharon Needles look is a benign blend of surreal gender-tripping and esoteric fabulousness.

Looks aside, the bitch is funny. I was impressed with her sense of humor, comedic timing and charm. Sharon often diffused tensions or elevated the moods of her competitors by cracking an expertly timed one-liner.  Nothing, NOTHING was funnier than her impression of my boo, Michelle Visage in RuPaul’s The Snatch Game. She took a huge risk impersonating the Queen Visage (as Michelle is a judge on the show), but she nailed it! Joke after joke landed as she managed to capture Visage’s iconic, immaculate laugh, quick wit and sharp tongue. (Can you feel a Visage crush blog on the horizon?)

But Ms. Needles is much more