The Girl Scouts: Selling Cookies Has ALWAYS Been a Euphemism for Lesbian Sex

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The Girl Scouts: Selling Cookies Has ALWAYS Been a Euphemism for Lesbian Sex

Another day, another attack on the Girl Scouts. 

I feel like I've seen these criticisms before, brought on by right-wing, religious zealots. Just have a look at the article “Girl Scouts Exposed: Lessons in Lesbianism." Or what about GOP Rep Hans Zeiger's comments:

One might wonder why the Girl Scouts have been spared the painful attacks that have been launched upon the Boy Scouts by the Left in recent years. The reasons are simple: the Girl Scouts allow homosexuals and atheists to join their ranks, and they have become a pro-abortion, feminist training corps.… If the Girl Scouts of America can’t get back to teaching real character, perhaps it will be time to look for our cookies elsewhere.”

I was in the Girl Scouts for a brief period of time; my mom was even the "cookie mom," and the spare room (formerly the garage) of our house became magically filled with cookie boxes periodically throughout the years. 

I can't say the Girl Scouts made me gay, but, in light of all this ridiculous controversy, I'd like to think that being a part of an all girls group contributed...I mean, I totally had a crush on one of the leaders.

(That's me! Learning to be GAY / The Brownie Way.)

This all being said, the Girl Scouts are celebrating their 100th anniversary this year—but GOP Rep Bob Morris ain't having any of this pro-abortion, labia-licking celebration. He wrote a letter to his fellow members of Congress to protest this radical orgy:

February 18, 2012

Members of the Republic Caucus

Dear Fellow Representatives:

This past week I was asked to sign a House Resolution recognizing the 100th Anniversary of Girl Scouts of America. After talking to some well-informed constituents, I did a small amount of web-based research, and what I found is disturbing. The Girl Scouts of America and their worldwide partner, World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts (WAGGGS), have entered into a close strategic affiliation with Planned Parenthood. You will not find evidence of this on the GSA/WAGGGS website—in fact, the websites of these two organizations explicitly deny funding Planned Parenthood.

Nonetheless, abundant evidence proves that the agenda of Planned Parenthood includes sexualizing young girls through the Girl Scouts, which is quickly becoming a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood instructional series and pamphlets are part of the



Comments [8]

Jenny Aisenberg's picture

oy, girl scouts...

I actually had some really crappy experiences w/ girl scouts, and it sucks that now I have to deal with the fact that I'm aligning myself w/ the right-wing haters if I don't change my tune. my chief complaint is that they are waaaaaayyyyyy too rigidly structured, to the point where the institution felt like it was sapping away my humanity when I was a girl scout counselor. during training we were told things like, "we say non-denominational grace before every meal, but you are never allowed to talk to the children about anything socially offensive like paganism or nazi-ism." that's a direct quote. 21-year-old me raised my hand and said, "um, really? you're gonna have the kids sing "thank the earth for all the food" at every meal ("earth" was swapped in for "God" when girlscouts went a-religious to avoid secterianism), and then equate pagans with nazis?"

and that was just the tip of the iceberg. the higher-ups kept telling me that all this was simply to reach the broadest possible audience of young girls; but, to me it's like, what are you going to reach them with when you get there? there were just way. too. fucking. many. rules. I even got reprimanded for PARKING MY CAR THE WRONG WAY in the staff lot, because official girl scout car parkin' policy is to always back into your space, so when you get in to leave you'll be facing forward and ready to go. I just found it insane and hypocritical that they trusted me to put small children on 2,000 pound horses and run around jumping over things, but not to park my own car in the parking lot. 

...but they were certainly very gay-friendly! sigh. ;p

"We're all born naked. The rest is drag."
--RuPaul (appropriating Judith Butler for the masses...)

Marcie Bianco's picture

to be honest, my group was

to be honest, my group was super christian. i mean, we even met at the methodist church in my town! i think GOP paranoia = a young girl's dream of GScouts being a hotbed of lesbianism. In practice, not so much. 

Conlite's picture

I don't remember what badges

I don't remember what badges I got, only how sexy one of the other patrol leaders looked in her uniform!  But I had a crush on her a couple of years before we joined girl scouts, so I don't think it was the uniform that made me gay.

Smile

Marcie Bianco's picture

Conlite was a girl scout!!!

Conlite was a girl scout!!!

Conlite's picture

Well actually, since it was

Well actually, since it was the UK, I was a girl guide.  It was a family tradition I had to stick out.

Marcie Bianco's picture

GUIDING girls, alright

GUIDING girls, alright Smile

Grace Moon's picture

what were all your special

what were all your special badges?

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Marcie Bianco's picture

i honestly can't recall ---

i honestly can't recall --- although i know one had a dragon on it and another had a beaver on it (perhaps the latter's my own projection!)