“The real motivation is to just turn the world gay. I very much want to inject gay culture into the mainstream. I committed myself to them and they committed themselves to me and because of the gay community I’m where I am today.” – Lady Gaga
Hay. It’s not just for horses anymore.
We know it can be so frustrating for others to parse the language of homosexuality, or even to listen to gay people talk. But there's nothing more frustrating than listening to straight people talk about gay people as way to emphasize how gay-straight they truly are.
So let me break this gaga down for you. First off, this Lady wants to turn the world gay and has chosen to employ a “gay infection” methaphor to describe the strategic process through which she will accomplish this feat. I likewise admire her repeated use of the alienating “they” to refer to a minority group (which conveniently doubles as her primary audience). Like so many art school drop-outs before her, Lady Gaga flashes that famous poker face and cashes in her gay chips to get famous, while still being clear about the boundary where she ends and “they” begin.
But wait! I hired a crack team of dishonorably discharged ex-military gay translators to tell us what Lady Gaga really means here. This is what they revealed!
“The real motivation [of my career] is to make a lot of money by smuggling gay taste into unsuspecting suburban households. I want to bareback my way into the mainstream on the heels of my ‘separate but equal’ commitment ceremony that I just had with the boys out back of the Eagle, where I was today for an important photo shoot.” – Lady Gaga
Ribbed for no one’s pleasure.
If you were a real friend to the gays, or even a real performance artist, you’d climb high up into a tree and vow never to take out your hair bow until everyone can legally tie the knot!
Note: Thanks to our friends at girlfriendisahomo.com for bringing this urgent issue to my attention.