Ex-Mas, Heart Sickness, and a Little Help from Buddha

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Ex-Mas,  Heart Sickness, and a Little Help from Buddha

A lot of people, especially New Yorkers, are jaded by love. Some people have one relationship go sour and they are out of the game for a while.  Some people never bother, they were just born jaded and will never have “in a relationship” status on their Facebook. Some people are always high on love, some don’t know where to find it, and others do it goldilocks style (not too little not too much, just right) I don’t necessarily think one of these dating M.O.’s is superior.  

I think that life is short and too many things have rules and restrictions. On top of all of that, for most people love seems to be written in some esoteric coding.  And this mystifying and often gut wrenching process of existing side by side with another makes it something that is done wrong far more often than right. I don’t think there is one dating pattern that leads to a happily ever after.  It’s just important to examine how that pattern got there in the first place. 

Are you not in a relationship because of aversion and fear? Are you always in one because you’re addicted to intimacy and sex? Do you have some attachment issues? Come on, be honest we almost all do, even just a little bit. It’s ok don’t feel bad. One of my favorite teachers in college said you have to be a bad writer for a long time before you’re a good one. I think that goes for being a lover as well. And if it’s any comfort to you, I have my fair share of sucking at love and so has anyone I have ever had an honest conversation with about the matter.

This whole sucking at love thing has been on my mind a lot these days. I planned my move to New York with my love. I thought I had some sort of fairy tale connection on my hands. I thought that, until I got a phone call saying she had a sudden change of heart. Long story short, she went back to the other side. I got left for a skinny wannabe hipster dude who writes bad poetry and who is probably sterile from how tight his pants are.  I gave my heart to a sexually confused twenty-two-year-old with mommy issues. (In my defense, If you saw this beauty you would have