Dyke Porn Review: Holiday Pornocopia

In their monthly series, Julia Watson and CaramelTeddy review dyke porn videos from Crashpadseries.com as a couple.

Bloggers' Note: Crashpadseries.com features all manner of queers and homos, from dykes and lesbians to gay dudes, genderqueers, transmen and transwomen. The performers may or may not use the pronouns and other gendered signifiers we use to describe them in describing themselves—but as we are two nerdy, pervie dykes, we're liable to err on the side of pervie, nerdy dykedom. In short, no offense or gender tyranny is intended; we're just calling it as we voyeuristically read it. xoxo

Julia: So we just watched Crashpad Series episode Nº 59, starring Cinnamon and Davina.

CaramelTeddy: Mmhmm.

Julia: Two feisty femmes...

CaramelTeddy: Indeed.

Julia: Boinking like Playboy bunnies.

CaramelTeddy: Wait... feisty? They were kinda giggly.

Julia: Yes! Davina was totally rocking the bratty bottom thing with her sly, giggliness. And her rockingly hot long stripy socks with the lace ruffles at the top.

CaramelTeddy: The socks were certainly way cute... but the giggling was annoying the hell out of me. I wanted them to just start fucking already.

Julia: That's because you are a no-nonsense top.

CaramelTeddy: lol

Julia: I couldn't get away with HALF the stuff Davina was pulling with Cinnamon, with you.

CaramelTeddy: Damned right. All that squirming and giggling and not saying ‘please.’

Julia: Stop it. You're making me blush and stuff. And we have work to do!

CaramelTeddy: You are far better behaved.

Julia: Okay, so what are your general impressions of what we just watched? What did you think of the performers, first off?

CaramelTeddy: I thought they were pretty average. Not what I would call hot

Julia: !!!

CaramelTeddy: But cute and pretty and sweet enough for me to want to see them hump.

Julia: I thought they were gorgeous. OMG Cinnamon's wicked smile and long, lovely locks. And Davina... I could watch that girl get banged all day long.

CaramelTeddy: Well, I have pretty hot gf, so my porn star standards are kinda high.

Julia: Ha. What did you think of the costuming?

CaramelTeddy: The sock were hot. So were the thongs.

Julia: And FYI, tell Santa Teddy that I want those stripy socks with the anchor and the ruffles.

CaramelTeddy: If you've been a good enough girl this year, I'm sure Santa Teddy will comply.

Julia: I liked Davina's femme appropriation of the black bandana, too. With her hair spilling out of the top so prettily. So on our scale of 1 - 10 for Hotness: Actors, how would you rate these lovelies?

CaramelTeddy: Her hair was truly fab. I give the overall hotness rating of a 7 for the performers. What's your bid?