As soon as I arrived at the office, on the same morning of my very tense breakfast with my current girlfriend, Autumn, and my first, girlfriend, Faith; my phone started ringing off the hook. It was Autumn.
"Get rid of her," she said, without preamble. "That woman is trouble with a capital 'T.'"
I was not surprised that Autumn disliked the situation. The fact that, at that very moment, I had an ex-lover lounging in my apartment, wearing my monkey pajamas, would have been enough to test the patience of most girlfriends. But, I was surprised that Autumn would have disliked Faith quite so much.
"I agree that she's not my first choice of house guests, but I can't just kick her to the curb with nowhere to go."
"I seem to recall you telling me how she kicked you, and your relationship to the curb a number of times in the past."
"Yes, but two kicks don't make the shoe fit any better, just because it's on the other foot," I protested.
Autumn didn't say anything for a moment. No doubt stunned by my blistering logic. While I had her off balance, I continued: "Look, I agree that she's not the gayest knife in the drawer, but I think we should give her a chance. Look how many people were married and had kids for before they finally came out."
"It's not about being gay. It's about being an honest and ethical person, and Faith is neither. You heard her story. She's been lying to everyone for years."
"Not to defend her or anything, but it's almost like she's escaped from a cult with that crazy religious family of hers. Everyone has to come out in their own way...."
Autumn interrupted, "Sissy, you're still not hearing me. It's not about her sexual orientation -- it's about her being a lying, despicable creep...."
Now I was stunned. In all the months that I'd known Autumn, I had never heard her put down anyone to that extent. Well, if anyone could bring out the bad mouth in a person, it was certainly Faith.
"I admit, she's done some pretty messed up things in the past, but people change," I said.
"Yes people change. They change how they act, but they don't change who they are. I can't believe this woman. She lied to her parents to be with you. Then, she betrayed you to please her parents and went all religious on you. By her own admission, she's not even sincere in her religious beliefs, so she's even been lying to God. Now, she's run off and left her husband, while carrying their unborn child. I'm telling you, Sissy, this is a person who cannot be trusted."
"Autumn, you are obviously upset, and I can understand that...."
"Upset, are you hearing me at all?"
Was I hearing her? I had to hold the phone a foot from my ear, she was talking so loudly. "Listen, Baby," I said, trying to sound calm and soothing. "I have no intention of having Faith, of all people, in my house any longer than necessary. She's making some calls today and promised she'd figure something out by this evening."
"OK," Autumn grumbled.
"Do you want to come over and spend the night?" I asked her.
"No," she grumped, "I'm afraid if I spend any more time with that woman, I'm going to say something I shouldn't. Anyway, you two have unfinished business. Let's hope that you can get it over and done with this evening."