Culture Shock: How Gay Is Your Job?

When I was in high school, I worked part-time teaching swimming lessons to kids at this swimming school that had several locations on Long Island.  After a few weeks of teaching at one of the locations, I realized that the staff was 80% queer! It was comprised mostly gay boys, but also a sprinkling of bisexual girls who wore clothes from HotTopic and listened to Sublime (oh, how the suburbs made us cool) and of course, myself.

This was startling to me, because gay culture was not something that was exactly celebrated in the burbs. But at Saf-T-Swim of Commack (nope, didn’t change the name), Cher’s upcoming tour-date was water-cooler conversation, so to speak. But when I went to one of the school’s other locations for some professional development, I overheard snickering about how one should be careful not to drop the soap in the showers at Commack.

My theory that swim schools attracted the gays due to the dress code (and that swimming is a pretty gay sport to begin with), didn’t hold up. So why the high concentration of gays at my workplace? Was it that I had been given the tip about the job opening from my gay boy friend, and that similarly the gay numbers increased through word of mouth? But why is it that some places without an obvious gay appeal attract a higher concentration of homos?

In my current position as part of a cohort of interns at a cultural institution (which I will keep anonymous and mysterious for the time being), 4 of the 5 of us are women, 3 of those women are queer femmes (and the other attended my all-women’s/mostly lesbian college with me, and I’m sure has kissed a girl before, or at least considered it). Before starting my job, I didn’t know more than 3 queer femmes (who identified as such) in all of NYC! How is this even possible?

So, I’m throwin it out there — What is the concentration of homos at your workplace? Certainly being out and having a finely tuned gaydar helps you notice what others may miss...  But if the numbers are especially high (and you don’t work at a gay organization or in a women’s studies department), why do you think this is?

Comments [53]

Sarah Pappalardo's picture

whoa I caught this one late...

But I think everyone's a little gay at my office (new media, e-commerce crap in brooklyn). Even the straight ones.

(Koke - I work with a badass Smithie who knows you)

yonks's picture

I thought that working as a

I thought that working as a welder, i will meet few lesbians but i never meet one.  (and i think i'v meet close to 50 woman during my career). Once again i'v got everything wrong. Sad

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Rusty's picture

FlashPost

Thank you Yonks and everyone participating in this thread. It might be one of my Park favorites.

We are star stuff. We are the universe made manifest trying to figure itself out. ~ Delenn

yonks's picture

Oh! but thank to you Rusty

Oh! but thank to you Rusty Smile

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Not2Taem's picture

Ouch! My fantasy.

Sad

yonks's picture

Don't worries, i will stand

Don't worries, i will stand alone and bravely to keep the dyke welder's fantasy alive in your heart and palpable to your hands.

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Julia Watson's picture

I dated a butch industrial

I dated a butch industrial steel worker for a while a few years back. HOT HOT HOT!

She was pretty much the only woman on any of her job sites, too. I felt like I had found and captured my very own UNICORN! Then again, finding a butch, much less a single, datable one, in SoCal in general engenders that selfsame feeling. This is why I imported one from NYC. See how smart I am?

yonks's picture

OMG i just figure out "SoCal"

OMG i just figure out "SoCal" is south California!!!

You imported her but you still encourage your local american butch industry. Wink

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Julia Watson's picture

LoL  I dated the steel worker

LoL  I dated the steel worker about 4 years ago, before I ever met (much less "imported") CaramelTeddy.  Wink

Nevertheless, I am ALL about encouraging butch industry. So to speak.

 

Grace Moon's picture

cheers to importing lesbians

The only thing I can add to Jules is, yes on the importation of lesbians I think thats what online dating is all about isn't it? snaring someone from across the globe, add shipping and handling. Wink

To Yonks above.

I will give you a guarantee method on getting ladies to hit on you. post up a profile pic of you in your welder clothes with a lit torch in your hands, I PROMISE you this is the way to catch the eye of allllll lesbians.

The next time you come down to nyc, bring your welding outfit booths, gloves, torch, and I will personally shoot your profile pic for you!

To everyone else, I can say both Tami and I met Yonks when she came to visits several months ago, and I will attest to the fact she is a cutie -- the skunk picture really does not do justice to yonks.

That is my ringing endorsement for Yonks.

Wink

 

 

tweet me tweeps @gracemoon

yonks's picture

hurray for lesbian without border.

I'm just worries about the border gard if he saw my welding stuff, he will think that i'm going to work under the table like a bad french canadian who want to still good american jobs.

BTW thanks for the endorsement. Smile

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Grace Moon's picture

oh thats true

we'll have to rent props then...

This is giving me an idea... what if we had the hunks of velvetpark calander?

tweet me tweeps @gracemoon

yonks's picture

But i can bring my pirate

But i can bring my pirate suit and my Valkyrie armor :)  i'm not sure how to explain that either.

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Julia Watson's picture

Begad!

Skunky, you had me at "welding equipment." Bringing a pirate costume to the party now is just plain overkill.

yonks's picture

It was for the fun of wild

It was for the fun of wild dressing and taking picture.

I'm so narcissist Smile

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Julia Watson's picture

*swoon*

*swoon*

Can we shoot it at my place during the Dinah? And will we be needing a fluffer?

Just sayin'.

Not2Taem's picture

$$$

Now that would be a fun fund raiser!

Julia Watson's picture

OMG, Yonks. You gotta get

OMG, Yonks. You gotta get that hypoethetical pic of you with the torch up!

Not2Taem's picture

Pics Past

Didn't she used to have one with the torch? Or was that at the other place?

yonks's picture

You remember it?

You'r right, it was on the other site, here i show my pirate boots an my chainmail.

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Not2Taem's picture

How could I forget?

Wink

Not2Taem's picture

Awe Yonks,

You're such a giver.  Wink

Robin Rigby's picture

But do you dance in the

But do you dance in the evenings?  And if so, where?

yonks's picture

Its weird because i used to

Its weird because i used to work in a dance school when i was younger, then i became a welder. There was lots of gay guy but no dyke at the time. Now more and more lesbians seems to be interested in dance. I'm so off on timing.

Well, i'm still dancing sometime when i clean up or separate my laundry, does that count?

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Not2Taem's picture

Maybe if you get splashed by

Maybe if you get splashed by the washing machine. Puzzled

yonks's picture

admit it

Oh you'r bad, its not my hands ability that interest you, its whats hiding under my blue work outfit.

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Not2Taem's picture

Sparky!

I want to watch you work. All that sparking...

Hot!

Not2Taem's picture

4 or 5/77 But I'm out alone

I work at an elementary school with a total staff (instruction, administration, housekeeping, etc.) of 77. As far as I know, I am the only totally out Queer.

One of the married gals out of nowhere told me that she had female relationships, but is in the, "It was just a phase and if you ever tell anyone, I swear I will kill you," stage. As if I would even consider outing anyone. LOL

One married guy I have seen getting some action at gay events. He is very friendly and upbeat with me at school, but will not respond if I say hi Queer settings. Can you say Down Low? Two gals are out everywhere except at work because it just isn't worth the hassle.  The one I didn't see coming is our head cutodian. When I was at school late one night and her car wouldn't start, she asked for a ride home and kissed me good night when I dropped her off. Her parting line, "My son has no idea." Mine, "Look in the window and guess again."  Wink

skate's picture

My workplace is a shithole. 

My workplace is a shithole.  Everybody's straight.  They recently took some promotional photos of the employees to upload online, and I was the only one conspicuously not asked to be in them, likely because I'm so gay-looking.  Thank fuckin' god!

Annie Oaklee's picture

Stand up for yourself

Skate, sorry to hear about your situation. But you should not be happy about being excluded in this case. This is clear discrimination and could set you up for worse in the future. You need to ask your superiors/co-workers why you weren't asked to participate in the photos and ask they be retaken with you in them. You need to emphasize cleary that you want to be included in all professional opportunities and document everything regarding this issue.

This is very important.

Otherwise you could be set up for more discriminatory behavior in the future, even perhaps losing your job. Ostracism at work is not a good sign. Stand up for yourself.

 

skate's picture

Oh believe me, I'm well aware

Oh believe me, I'm well aware of what the situation is.

minniesota's picture

Job gayness

My job is pretty gay because it is in higher education and there are plenty of gays in higher education. I'm the only out gay in my department although I think there is one closet case, hah.

This reminds me that one day a couple of us counted how many gays were involved in my Latino organization. Those seemed to be doing all the work were gay, men and women.Thus, I felt doubly at home. Smile.

Tiff's picture

I'm a nanny

So there's just me, the kids (2) and their parents. Although I think it's fairly possible the little boy will come out one day. Seriously, he's almost eight and is already saying things like "boys should only marry boys" and such. He's kind of a queen, too. Smile His parents don't know I'm gay. I don't really feel it's appropriate to talk to other people's children about my sexuality (gay, straight or otherwise) so I don't see how it's any of their parents' business, either.

Speaking of the little boy, I nearly died laughing (or rather stopping myself from laughing) the other day when I told him he was crazy (he's French and we recently starting speaking only in English together) and his response was "Yes, that is because I am taking cocaine (he used the French pronunciation for cocaine, at least) yesterday night." I had to remind myself that I'm the adult in the situation and I have to take an opportunity like that and teach him.

Annie Oaklee's picture

protection

I'd be concerned about where he picked up the cocaine line (no pun intended). where did he hear that enough to even use it in context?

Tiff's picture

well

It's about as common here as marijuana is in the US. I assume he has friends with older siblings or something, though. I told his parents, so they could look into it, talk with other parents, etc. It wasn't what he said that I found funny, so much as how he said it so casually, when he clearly had no real idea what he was talking about. Besides, if his parents/school/whatever are doing what they should, he should already have some idea what drugs are and why they're to be avoided. I was in elementary school when we started learning about them. Middle school's too late. By that time, I knew people who smoked pot.

Not2Taem's picture

Totally

my first response was not amusement either.  Sad

delayne's picture

Zero

None, nada, zero, zip, zilch... Excluding me of course.

But I was surprised by the amount in my master's degree program.  There were 10 students total, two gay guys, me, and a girl who managed to pick up a girlfriend while we where attending... Also I suspect a few of the profs were gay men.

Oh and there were a surprising amount in my Latin class in my undergrad...

Steph's picture

I work for an organisation

I work for an organisation that has 50,000 staff so I would hate to hazard a guess! I hardly ever go to the office where I am technically based but I am fairly sure that one of the women there is gay. Having said that I have a crap gaydar!
I have been told that one of the Marketing Directors is gay. It's probably a fairly low percentage though....

Tex's picture

SHOCK!

Last job as an activist for LGBT rights: entire Northern Region during last five days of campaign had 4 lesbians, 1 gay, 4 straight dudes, and 1 straight female as organizers.

Steph's picture

Hi Texy Hope you're doing

Hi Texy
Hope you're doing okay after the last few days. Sorry it didn't turn out how we all wanted it to. Sending a big smoochy across the pond xoxo

Tex's picture

I'll take that smooch, sweetness!

Honestly, I'm not doing well at all....I'm having a hard time decompressing. There has been no real down time as of yet, so it continues to be difficult. 

Not2Taem's picture

Might I suggest...

kick boxing or rowing? I prefer the latter, but there is no water about, the former will do.

Tex's picture

Plenty of water here....

but it's too darn cold! And will that kick boxing hurt my bunions? How about I go to the gym and work off all these pounds from campaign pizza?

Not2Taem's picture

Weight lifting

releases energy and staves off osteoporosis.  Smile

They do a lot of sea kayaking in that cold water, but I much prefer a good old fashioned row boat on a clam lake. Stay long enough and you can skate on it. So, you found that good New England pizza. Aren't all the little family places awesome? The pie will never be the same for you again.

Rusty's picture

glad to help

Well-intentioned body heat fixes most of what ails you.

We are star stuff. We are the universe made manifest trying to figure itself out. ~ Delenn

Rusty's picture

It will take time, Tex

I've worked on more than a few losing campaigns; the after always feels like a death in the family. Hang in there Tex.

We are star stuff. We are the universe made manifest trying to figure itself out. ~ Delenn

Tex's picture

Feeling better...

just being between you two!

Steph's picture

Please take care of yourself

Please take care of yourself xoxo

Robin Rigby's picture

I know of maybe a half dozen

I know of maybe a half dozen gays in my office. Out of a workforce of 1800. Then again, I only know two people from the second floor (sales & service)- both lesbians. Probably a third of our employees work nights and about 10% work in the field so there's a big chunk I never have contact with.

There are some folks I wonder about though. Like the cute noob in our department who's very flirty with me.

Overall, not very gay but the company is very gay friendly to employees and customers.

Rusty's picture

so gay

The gayest place I worked was the US Army. One entire wing of the barracks at one of my assignments was self-segregated lesbian space.

2nd runner up would be a hotel reservation call center. I was surprised about the call center but not about the Army.

We are star stuff. We are the universe made manifest trying to figure itself out. ~ Delenn