BSG spoiler warning! If you’re not yet caught up with this season so far, thar be spoilers ahead...
With the dream of earth shattered, the fleet wracked with strife and despair, and Galactica literally falling apart at the seams, the stalwarts have decided that the old girl ought to go out in style: on one last mission which could very likely see everyone we give a damn about on this show winding up, well, toast. In what very little is being said about the content of next week’s Battlestar Galactica series finale, coming from the cast in interviews, the word popping up most often to describe the episode? “Beautiful.” What?! A cast who are confident about and gratified by the final direction of their show? Yeah. Refreshing, no?
As sad as I am to see this
all-consumingly addictive amazing series come to an end, I’m grateful that they decided to stop before they ran out of story. I’m confident that we’re in for quite a ride next Friday night, and that, as a fan, I won’t be asked to take my leave of these characters I’ve come to love without seeing them go out in a blaze of motherfrakking glory. So fare thee well, ye grit-eyed, spacefaring sojourners of the thirteen tribes. We’ll miss you. So say we all.
Top Ten Things You Will Not See Next Week on the BSG Series Finale
10. The Admiral and Colonel Tigh sharing one last scotch… on Cloud Nine, rocking the karaoke bar with their rendition of Elton John’s “Rocket Man.”
8. Alec Baldwin and Eliza Dushku turning out to be the 14th and 15th Cylons, respectively, at the Colony, which is revealed to be operated by the Dharma Initiative and their subsidiary company: Hulu.
7. An old-timey, Broadway musical number starring Baltar in a top hat and coattails, accompanied by a chorus line of twenty dancing Sixes. (Jazzhands!)
5. Starbuck braiding Athena’s hair while they watch chick flicks, eat ice cream, and argue about who’s hunkier: Apollo or Gaius Baltar.
4. Starbuck having her way with Athena in the cockpit of her Viper. (Sonuva!)
3. Sam, plugged into the data stream, reciting “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Bat” from Alice in Wonderland.
1. The entire crew of Galactica strutting their stuff in a runway-inspired curtain call, mugging for the camera in lieu of delivering an actual end to the series.
To Watch For Next Week…
Sunday! Will Ferrell takes the piss out of Dubya on You’re Welcome America. A Final Night with George W. Bush, (HBO 9 p.m.). Susan locks lips with one of her female co-stars on a very special bicurious episode of Desperate Housewives, (ABC 9 p.m.).
Monday! The series finale of Kyle XY, (ABC Family, 9 p.m.). Lily is revealed as the mastermind meddler in all of Ted’s previous relationships on How I Met Your Mother, (CBS, 8:30 p.m.). An hour long retrospective of all things BSG on Battlestar Galactica: The Last Frakkin’ Special, (Sci Fi Channel, 10 p.m.). And check out the awesomely funny Nathan Fillion in his new show, Castle, (ABC, 10 p.m.). Rachel Maddow on Letterman.
Tuesday! Portia de Rossi on Leno.
Wednesday! Portia de Rossi returns to TV in the series premiere of Better Off Ted, (ABC, 8:30 p.m.). Cal gets to the bottom of Big Pharma’s attempt to hide a new drug’s dangerous side effects on Lie to Me, (Fox, 8 p.m.).
Thursday! Betty gets her sexy on with a little help from fairy gaymothers Amanda and Marc on this, the last episode of Ugly Betty before the show goes on hiatus (possibly for good, boo), (ABC, 8 p.m.). And just maybe we’ll get to see Callie and Arizona on their first date on Grey’s Anatomy, (ABC, 9 p.m.). Teri Hatcher on Leno. Megan Mullally on Jimmy Kimmel.
Friday! Agent Ballard and Echo finally throw down in person on Dollhouse, (Fox, 9 p.m.). The highly anticipated, two-hour series finale of Battlestar Galactica, (Sci Fi Channel, 10 p.m.). Portia de Rossi on Jimmy Kimmel.