Ask Amy: The Babysitter, Fashion from Ru Paul, and a Quaint Story

What happened to the babysitter?
Don't tell Mom, but she's dead. People under the age of 28 totally don't get this reference. Weird. Best line from that movie: "The dishes are done, dude."

As a fashion-forward rockstar, what is your advice for a late-blooming femme trying to figure out clothes, make up and accessorizing for the first time in her 30s?
Congratulations! You know what, just this morning I watched the premier episode of Ru Paul's "Drag U" in which drag queens from "Ru Paul's Drag Race" school women on how to be super femmes- by way of fashion, confidence and power. I recommend you get into this show.

I'm bored. Tell me a funny story.
So, I somehow became involved in a gay cabaret show at a certain Boystown gay bar that was being organized by a reputable cabaret company. I was to have a short-term residency, performing every Tuesday for the month of June. After committing, I saw pics of the cabaret on the company's FB page and I just knew it was gonna be a bad fit for Lez Bobo. But I did the responsible thing and stuck with it, mostly because I was getting paid pretty well but also because I expected the audience at this bar to be drunk gay boys, who might appreciate the LBB experience.

To be sure that I wouldn't be totally out of place with what seemed to be a professional cabaret unlike anything LBB's performed with, I tried to warn this guy — he's never seen LBB and I specifically asked how far I could go. He said he was cool with whatever I wanted to do. You don't say that to me unless you really mean it.

The first night came and as I expected, it was cheesy and smiley, very clean and pretty wholesome. The crowd consisted of older white gay men, the kind who go to cabaret shows that feature tables, candles and a piano player. I felt very out of place, especially when LBB did her famous balloon trick in which she makes a long balloon disappear in her rainbow merkin. To make matters worse — or better depending on how you look at it- the music accidentally ended right before the trick happened, so it was done in silence to a horrified crowd. Some chuckled, but most mostly I heard crickets.

The next morning, I sent an email to all the friends who had expressed interest in going the following week, telling them not to go unless they want to see Glee live, but grown up and without any sense of irony. Because most of us are broke, and our usual entertainment comes in different forms than this, it might not be worth the $10. I then told them how it made me realize what a striking difference there is between queers and gays.

The next morning I received an email from the cabaret producer saying, "I have been doing a lot of thinking and I feel that Lez BoBo didn't really fit the flow of last nights show. My fault entirely! The act sort of came out of no where and left people like... huh." And "The shock, while fun for me was too much for several of our audience members you see."

This left me feeling mostly happy. As I said, I knew it wasn't a good fit. This gave me an out when I didn't feel I had one. Also, it's amazing to be able to put on my resume that I was too shocking for (insert name of gay bar here)! the end.

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