Is a lesbian affair with Lady Gaga the reason behind the recent rumors about Brangelina breaking up? It is according to celebrity tell-all author Ian Halperin! The totally legit-sounding Halperin, author of the recent, best-selling Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, alleges that the duo recently had a boinkfest sleepover at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel.
Gossip site Showbizspy.com has been running with the story for the past few days, adding some delightfully fanciful touches of their own. According to their anonymous "sources," Angie "is obsessed with Gaga," the pop princess has had a long-standing (so to speak) lesboner for Angie, and Gaga recently spent upwards of $80K on lingerie "to impress Angie" during one of their torrid, secret rendezvouz. They even go on to say that Gaga was planning one such nookie session with Angelina after putting in a quick appearance at the Grammys afterparties on Sunday night.
Is any of this true? Probably not. Okay, but srsly? Best. Rumor. EVER. The idea of these two oddball beauties banging each other on the lowdown is so wildly entertaining that, honestly, who gives a crap if it's true or not? I motion forthwith that this rumor be embraced and unendingly embellished upon simply as a matter of lesbian honor and pride. (Not to mention, cheap thrills.)
Therefore, I shall make my own effort to fan the flames of sacred lezzie gossip by making crap up about them RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! Let's see... where to begin? How about this? Lady Gaga's fox terrier puppy, Yoko, has been seen sporting a $125K white gold and platinum collar with the letter "A" spelled out in diamonds, a love token from Angie. And the Haus of Gaga, at their Lady's insistence, have reportedly begun sewing labels that read "Gagalina" into all of Gaga's Haus-made couture.
Let's keep this crazy gossip rumor mill wheel turning, Parkers! Embellish away...