Three-Way: The Butch Mystique

Our ménage finally gets its trois on as Amy joins Elizabeth and Julia in objectifying butches as the beefcake boifriend pin-ups that they are.

Julia: So Amy, what is it about the butch mystique that gets your knickers in a twist?

Amy: Here's what I like about butches. Top three – #1 A firm handshake, or even better a firm hug. #2 Short hair, preferably shaven. #3 White tank tops. (Some people call them wife beaters, I refuse.)

Julia: Mmm. How a butch looks in a white tank top is KEY to butch hotness.

Elizabeth: Agreed. (And amen to the refusing to call them wife beaters.)

Amy: Totally. I think it's a required element of a butch identity.

Elizabeth: I like my butches in ties, too. But not with the white tank top. That is too sloppy dyke chic for me.

Julia: Totes. What about intangibles? Attitude, an' all that.

Amy: Well, I like the air of masculinity. It's something that to me isn't very attractive in a straight "dude," but is very hot in a butch. How about you?

Julia: As for physical stuff, my top three would probably be sexy and strong hands/arms/shoulders, neckline stubble and a cocky smile.

Amy: Love #1 and #3. Neckline stubble? Please expand upon that.

Julia: When a butch keeps her hair really, really short, and there's that barest hint of stubble along the neckline, on the back of the neck/base of the scalp. I love running my fingers along that. I think I have a fetish for that. But my biggest butch fetish is hands. OMG. I am an ogler.

Amy: TRUE.

Elizabeth: Totally about the hands. Butch hands are perhaps the single-most fetishized body part by femmes. I remember reading all these forum posts on this buch/femme website about butch hands and – I mean, it makes sense. But whenever I think about hands, I can’t help but get “Both Hands” by Ani DiFranco in my head, and that is not very butch or femme.

Amy: I forgot a really important thing in my top three. And this is something that will make me automatically attracted to someone above all else: a butch on a motorcycle. I know it sounds cliché, but I don't care.

Elizabeth: My butch had a motorcycle. It was amazing. We would ride over the Brooklyn Bridge to hang out with the dykes in Park Slope and sing Janis Joplin songs while we were stuck in traffic. But Pearl got stolen last fall.

Julia: Oh no! I am pining for Pearl, and I never even met her.

Amy: I am always making a fool of myself at the dyke march trying to get on the back of a motorcycle of someone in the Dykes on Bikes contingent. I turn into a desperate sleaze. I forget I have a partner, forget that this is a stranger. I will ride on the back of any butch's motorcycle. I don't care if you are ugly, have an outdated mullet, smell... anything. I’ll ride on the back.

Elizabeth: Slut for the ride. I get it. But I draw the line at smell. I could weather ugliness and bad hair… but I cannot tolerate butches with bad hygiene. That is like my A-number-1 priority. And unfortunately lots of butches I’ve come across have poor hygiene.

Amy: My dream is just to ride on the back of a dyke on a bike in the parade. Have you ever?

Julia: No! Not yet, but that is totally on my list of things I want to do.

Amy: What about a soft butch on a scooter?

Julia: ... Pass.

Elizabeth: That’s cute… very boi next door… but I’d want to give her a tip for helping me with my groceries or giving me a lift when my car was towed… and tell her to say hi to her mom for me.

Amy: Haha. Yeah, not so hot. Cute. Maybe.

Julia: Save a Vespa, ride a butch!