The L Word Recap 605: Scheck the Eff Up Already

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The L Word Recap 605: Scheck the Eff Up Already

Bette and Tina, rendered pants-optional-home-officeless by their construction project, have set up shop at The Planet where they sit side-by-side, wheeling and dealing on the phone. Tina ends her call and announces to the group, including Alice, the news that Jenny has just sold her latest screenplay for a cool half million. The problem? Jenny has blatantly ripped off Alice’s script treatment storyline. You know, the one Jenny called “boring and unsellable”? Ah. Nothing like a steaming cup of betrayal to start off this show!

Alice storms off, arriving at Chez Crazy Bitch where she calls Jenny out on stealing her idea. The Schecter half-heartedly denies this accusation, but admits that “this sort of thing happens all the time in Hollywood,” adding for good measure that it takes “real talent” to turn a crazy mess of ideas like Alice’s treatment into a sellable script. Shane appears and Alice tells her they can’t be friends anymore as long as she continues to “Scheck up.” Ha!


Alice arrives back at the Planet and gets goofy over a text message from Jamie. Bette and Tina inform Alice that she and Tasha are having a “third wheel crush” triangle with their new buddy. (Ya think?) They invoke the Schecter er, specter of relationships that have crumbled when one person in a couple finally decides they’ve fallen in love with the third wheel crush and decides to act on it. (Tasha! It’s going to be Tasha!)

Bitter at having no storyline to call her own more than halfway through the season, Kit spills the beans to the group about Helena’s impending date with Dylan. As good friends are wont to do, everyone freaks. Helena: “I can’t help myself. Dylan has colonized my thoughts.” No, honey. Jenny has colonized Shane’s vagina. But you do have some serious unfinished business with Ms. Moreland.

And then Alice gets an idea – an awful, terrible, WONDERFUL idea.

A plan is devised – a not-so-great lesbo caper, if you will. Dylan’s character and the truth about her feelings for Helena are to be determined by a test. Shane will get Nikki Stevens to set up a meeting with Dylan – ostensibly, to discuss a job directing Nikki’s next big movie. During the meeting, Nikki will make a pass at Dylan, while the gang watches on Hit Club’s fancy schmancy security cameras. Is Dylan still just looking

Comments [68]

mysticsmb's picture

Hahaha. Well since you put

Hahaha. Well since you put it THAT WAY.

You may see Tibette coming back together as true love winning out, I still see it as playing out a time-honored trope of sin and forgiveness. I don't really compare the two 'sins' of Bette and Dylan because frankly I think they're just stand-ins--for instance I don't really believe if Dylan was as obviously in love with Helena as she appeared to be that she would have gone through with the plan. Similarly I think most Tibetters believe Bette would never have cheated on Tina. But Ilene is a slave to her plot devices, despite all her lip-service about it being a character-based show, and so we end up with a dynamic in which both couples must overcome past transgressions.

As for Kelly Wentworth as played by EB--she has all the sex appeal of a cardboard box, so I can't imagine her having chemistry with ANYONE. But Helena? No, then it would just be two rich femmes which would be a snore-fest, in this case at least. I like that Dylan's a bit butch, not rich, etc.--it broadens Helena, gives her some depth, something her character has unfortunately mostly lacked due to the poor writing.

I'm actually not a huge Dylena fan, but given the lack of anything substantive or even passionate this season (Shenny? PULEASE!) I was grateful to have something to remind me why I started watching this show in the first place.

lucia_2008's picture

No I am not buying the Dylena

No I am not buying the Dylena chemistry. IMHO I just don't see it. I have tried because other fans have pointed out that they can see this chemistry. Just don't see it. Maybe if, I saw Alexandria Hedison in another role, I may feel different about her. But, I don't find her character worthy of taking up time. IC should have introduced Kelly Wenworth to Helena and they could have been the new couple. I can see the potential of chemistry between those two characters.

Yes I am a Tibetter. The type of cheating that went on between Bette and Tina is a little different. I don't recall either of them setting each other up for a sexual harassment law suit for monetary gaiin. Yes, cheating did occur with these two characters. But it was all Bette's fault. She cheated with the carpenter for quite some time. After Tina and Bette got back together, Bette called Tina and asked her if it would be ok to have a romp with the senator. Let us not forget that Bette and Helena were the only two women Tina had any experience with. Combine the two experiences and Tina heads to hetero world. Tina being beautiful and having such a wonderful personality found a man to have sex with rather quickly. I think that is what the whole relationship was about, just sex. Tina did tell the male director that all he had to do was f**k her and keep his mouth shut. But, Tina didn't stay in hetero world very long. I think there was a fling with the character Kate Arden, I think there would have been one with Sam the DP and of course we saw the fling with Brenda the heart doctor. I'm getting to the point.

Bette had her fling with the kid at the New York bar, she had her fling with Nadia, I don't recall any others. Bette went to Jodie, not in heart, because I think Bette made the mistake of listening to other people about how Jodie was such a catch and Bette had met her match. (Also pot can make you see people in a different light if your not careful.)

So...after all the flings and the inability to put out the flames of love Tina and Bette had for one another, and the assistance of alcohol, they rekindled the flame and it became a burning desire, with a kiss. Now that is chemistry!!!

Did I answer your question??? Wink is good!!!

mysticsmb's picture

I hear you, and while I

I hear you, and while I wouldn't either, I think it's a powerful fantasy that's been reinforced over centuries in romantic literature and drama. But I'd suggest that your strong negative response is probably why you aren't buying the Dylena chemistry (that and obviously your dislike of Alexa).

I just remembered though--aren't you a Tibetter? Isn't that fantasy also the one being played out there as well??

LongBeachDogLover's picture

“Regarding character, haven’t

“Regarding character, haven’t you ever been hopelessly in love (or lust) with someone who’s fucked up or done you wrong but you have this fantasy that they’ll change and be the girl of your dreams?”

Hell no.

lucia_2008's picture

I don't like the Dylan

I don't like the Dylan character portrayed by Alexandria Hedison. I don't particularly care for Alexandria Hedison as an actress either. Sorry I don't like the character or the actress. Would I like the character if portrayed by another actress?? I don't think so.

"Regarding character, haven’t you ever been hopelessly in love (or lust) with someone who’s fucked up or done you wrong but you have this fantasy that they’ll change and be the girl of your dreams?"
No. I have been gay a long time and no, if someone had done me the way Dylan did Helena...fuck no!!! And if they showed up later all apologetic, once again...fuck no!!! is good!!!

mysticsmb's picture

Hmm....bras on are a bit

Hmm....bras on are a bit 'challenging' as far as realism goes, but I actually find it sexier. Plus, for the actresses sake, I'd rather they weren't compelled to show a lot of skin--just seems too demeaning...

peacekitty's picture

Howdy. Go


Go to "forums" and register.

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

Annie Oakley's picture

Re shooting: Yeah, I noticed

Re shooting: Yeah, I noticed that this whole season so far. Seems like someone else is directing because scenes are actually flowing and I haven't noticed the awkward editing/lighting/camerawork etc. that I used to.

Only drawback: love scenes with bras on is such a turn-off! But that's my personal thing so I can't really critique the series for that.

rovermom's picture

mmmmhmmmm :D

mmmmhmmmm Laughing out loud

rovermom's picture



Robin Rigby's picture

Tell me about it. How

Tell me about it. How pathetic are we all that we're actually tuning into the dreck every week? At least episodes 3 & 5 had Angela Robinson to thank for not being a complete waste of time.

Agree with all that the sex scene was hot, Alice was not annoying and the 'test' was actually kind of fun (while at the same time being totally wrong). All that having been said, I give total credit for everything good about this week to AR. You go, girl!

To whoever said that Jenny's spilling the beans to Dylan is a plot device- agreed, but also considering what a psycho bitch Jenny has been this season (even more so than past seasons) it's not out of character for her to do something like that.

Kel's picture

I REALLY don't like the

I REALLY don't like the threesome. Actually I know so many lesbians (me being one myself), and I haven't even experienced one instance of "threesome" occurring. Ok, there's cheating, stealthily f*cking someone behind the gf's back, and most of the dyke drama... but nope. No threesome. Or is it just me? I love Alice. Though I think she's kinda cranky this season. I love Tasha, ditto to the crankiness. Jamie is kind of real and hot... but a threesome? Meh.

Shenny? Both are brilliant and beautiful, but them together? Jenny acting weirdly and Shane being "trapped in a box"? This doesn't end well. *Sigh* I hate a trainwreck.

I'm glad they found some real love for Helena. With her crap storyline, she needs it. Dylan's scenario is realistic. Straight girls discover they're gay. It needs just one girlfriend. Rachel and Alex are fantastic actresses... I admit I teared a little. I can see the parallels with Tibette too. Bette fell for and "converted" Tina. Dylan fell for Helena and "converted" herself. Heh. Smile

Love is.

Kel's picture

I think Jenny's phone call

I think Jenny's phone call was all Mia actually.

Kel's picture

I agree, so many c*ps in LA?

I agree, so many c*ps in LA?

mysticsmb's picture

I'm confused--you say

I'm confused--you say characters, but then allude to Alexa (on and off the show).

Regarding character, haven't you ever been hopelessly in love (or lust) with someone who's fucked up or done you wrong but you have this fantasy that they'll change and be the girl of your dreams?

foundithere's picture

I'm pretty certain at this

I'm pretty certain at this point, that all I need in life is Dylan's sexy teapot (no really. the actual teapot), and Alexandra Hedison.

lucia_2008's picture

Everyone is tall who stands

Everyone is tall who stands next to me. is good!!!

minniesota's picture

Alex is...tall. Especially

Alex is...tall. Especially standing next to me. Hah.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

lucia_2008's picture

Characters. I like Rachel

Characters. I like Rachel Shelley, but don't care for Alex at all, on or off the show. is good!!!

foundithere's picture

May I ask where you saw these

May I ask where you saw these spoilers? i need a spoiler fix. Smile

mysticsmb's picture

Whaaaaaat?? Do you mean

Whaaaaaat?? Do you mean characters, or actresses?

sold's picture

I have heard that they are

I have heard that they are auctioning off all the L-Word set, clothing, accessories...
check it out at Don't miss it!

lucia_2008's picture

I don't see the chemistry

I don't see the chemistry between Dylan and Helena. Can I borrow someone elses glasses? is good!!!

Fastgurrrl's picture

I just love it, and pretty

I just love it, and pretty much all lingerie, le reow, le reow-reow! Wink


Hi, EB... Wink

Fastgurrrl's picture

OMG, head-banging smilie,

OMG, head-banging smilie, SWEEEET! =)

LBDL, how DO you do it? Smile

Not2Taem's picture

Have you changed your

Have you changed your security settings lately?

minniesota's picture

Tae, I was drooling over that

Tae, I was drooling over that shirt and Rachel Shelley. Yum yum.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Not2Taem's picture

MeOWWWW! :lol:

MeOWWWW! Laughing out loud

LongBeachDogLover's picture

What?? I couldn't hear you

What?? I couldn't hear you Tae....... the damned music was too loud!! Shock

Not2Taem's picture

Stick to your story, hon.

Stick to your story, hon. We'll probably buy it. Just look at what we've been watching lately. Laughing out loud

Not2Taem's picture

Ditto on the shirt! Was that

Ditto on the shirt! Was that Ilene hair Dylan was sporting? I mean, she could have been a stunt double. Wink

Not2Taem's picture

I really appreciated the

I really appreciated the cinematography in that one also.I thought the scene itself was good about half way through, but didn't find Helena particularly believable early on. Didn't like the background music in the planet scenes, though; not conducive for those hard of hearing.

Erin Blackwell's picture

how many minutes in? found

how many minutes in?

found it. 42 minutes in.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Hey Lezbeth........ I'll PM

Hey Lezbeth........ I'll PM you. We'll figure it out, okay?

mysticsmb's picture

You betcha, Fastgurrrl (see

You betcha, Fastgurrrl (see my comment down the thread in reply to Lezbeth).

Fastgurrrl's picture


Thigh-high stockings...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Just sayin'.

peacekitty's picture I know how Ilene I know how Ilene Chaiken feels. Wink

Poor lady is probably preparing the castle for a breech after this season. lol

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

btfan2's picture

peacekitty - you smooth

peacekitty - you smooth talker

I hope you understand you will burn in lesbian hell, if you are toying with my Tibette heart.

Dylan's picture

Finally somewhere we can

Finally somewhere we can discuss episode 5 without worrying about giving it away

And yes, finally, DYLENA
I am amazed at how hot and yet how gentle it all was

Cool going L word

peacekitty's picture

Hi BtFan. I was bad and

Hi BtFan. I was bad and peeked a little at the 608 spoilers. I think you'll be a happy Tibetter when it's all over. Smile

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

btfan2's picture

Well I'm in complete

Well I'm in complete agreement with those who LOVED the love scene between Dylan and Helena, wow!! Rival's TiBette and I thought I'd never say that. But; to me it was beyond well done by Rachel, Alex and Angelia -- who knew??

Though s6 is a complete yawner this ep was a giant step up from the previous 4, I expect tlw to step right back down next exp - IC's back ?? Don't let yourself even think what this show could have been had it been the Angelia Robinson show. No disrespect to IC, I'm just saying!!!

I'm over Shane and Jenny and Alice, Tasha and Jamie it's all just tooo predictable.

I suspect Angelia put her foot down about the music and made ez do it right for once. Thank you very much Angelia

Also the last 30 - 45 seconds of lead to ending the ep ( I have no clue what film people call this) were the absolute best I have ever seen on tlw. Perfect.

You could see, taste and smell whats coming with Alice and , gang. You could see the frustrated caged animal I'm over it disgusted, predatory look on Shane and know Sheeny is past rocky, and still have that lingering satisfied peaceful easy feeling after some good loving. All this in 30-40 seconds without a word being spoken, fucking - A.

Angelia Robinson where have you been for the last 6 frustrating, lack luster, pitiful, painful years?????

Steph H's picture

Me too - I said that on

Me too - I said that on another thread but can't remember which now.... it's been a long day..

Lezbeth's picture

My friend snuck up on me and

My friend snuck up on me and I didn't resist the camera.

LBDL, have you been putting in emoticons that aren't showing up in your posts? I love the ones you were using, but can't get them to show up. Are you having that same prob?

Lezbeth's picture

Thx...small enough to not

Thx...small enough to not show the wrinkles.

peacekitty's picture

I really like your new

I really like your new avatar. Very nice!

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

Steph H's picture

Same from me to both of you!

Same from me to both of you! xx

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Lezbeth, your new avatar

Lezbeth, your new avatar rocks! Laughing out loud

peacekitty's picture

BIG hugs from me to the both

BIG hugs from me to the both of you. xoxo - PK

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

mysticsmb's picture

Lezbeth, the pantyhose

Lezbeth, the pantyhose weren't stuck--she was wearing thigh-highs (one per leg), which makes for very 'easy access.' (did i just say that? i'm blushing)

So actually the hose made it WAY sexier for me.

peacekitty's picture

lol ;) I've got to give

lol Wink I've got to give you that one Steph. You're right!

Thank you Rachel Shelley. Smile

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"