The L Word Recap 604: Mystery Science Snoozefest 3000

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The L Word Recap 604: Mystery Science Snoozefest 3000

“There’s no escaping it,” begins Max, at The Planet with Tom, Alice and Tasha. Is he referring to his knocked up-ness? No. He’s talking about Shenny. Tom: “At least here we don’t have to put up with squirrel grunts and monkey squeals.” Oddly enough, that is precisely how one imagines Jenny Schecter sounds mid-bang.

Excited that Tasha is “gossiping” with the group, Alice cheerily announces that they’re developing similar interests. Yeah, she’s grasping at straws the size of Texas. Something’s up.

Jenny and Shane arrive and, from the moment she opens her mouth, every word that drips forth from the maw of the Schecter beast makes me want to throw something at her. (Must be Sunday.) "How is the beautiful mother-to-be?” she croons. Max flips her off and Tom patiently explains that Max doesn’t care to be referred to as a “mother.” Jenny continues to display an appalling lack of sensitivity, referring to Max as a woman and “she.” Max leaves the table in a huff and Tom follows him.

Max cries in the bathroom, unwilling to be consoled by Babydaddy. Max: “I hate these hormones! I hate these tits and I hate these hips and I hate Jenny Schecter!” Suspect of the week quota? Filled! (I hope next week’s teaser features Sounder and Angie colluding to do Jenny in!)


At the table, Bette and Tina have arrived and we learn they’re going to Nevada to meet a birth mother about an adoption. Jenny has “an epiphany” about who stole the Lez Girls negative: gazillionaire William. For insurance scam purposes. Riiiight. Kelly Wentworth arrives and Bette leaves to meet with her. Alice continues to make a big deal out of Tasha’s involvement in the conversation; it’s condescending and weird. Kit reveals to the gang that Bette “almost killed herself” over Kelly back at Yale. Tina freaks. And to top it all off? Dylan shows up… having tricked her way into a meeting with Tina using a false name to make the appointment.

Max and Tom arrive at a swanky hotel for Lamaze class. Tom is embarrassed when Max takes off his binder in the lobby. In class, the two of them are uncomfortable, but don’t seem to be attracting much attention. But when the teacher demonstrates a vaginal massage technique on a life-size replica of a hoo-ha, Tom looks about ready to bolt.

Kelly strokes Bette’s ego

Comments [105]

Julia Watson's picture

I like the "Girl Scout Camp"

I like the "Girl Scout Camp" one. I think that's the only one I remember anymore.

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

Yeah, but Julia is right,

Yeah, but Julia is right, Alice really had it going on in 603. I still laugh every time I see that early few minutes of that episode, the way her face transforms as reality sucker punches her over "Shenny."

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

I think Max intended to raise

I think Max intended to raise the baby with Tom. Tom's departure may have changed that, though, we won't know until next week at the soonest?

I suspect the TiBette adoption plan will be a source of controversy, given how badly the birth mom's parents reacted.

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

She's always been a bit on

She's always been a bit on the thin side, either a Hollyweird thing or she's got a bit of a metabolic thing going on. She does work out, though, if her muscle tone is any indication.

I like Kate as an actress, though, she's very versatile and takes on difficult roles most people wouldn't touch, and does them well.

But then again, I'm weird like that, lol! Laughing out loud

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

I think they're setting Alice

I think they're setting Alice up to be just bad enough to make her being in prison in the spin-off more plausible.

Or, the writing is just plain sucky?

I do see Alice taking Jenny out over the "cartoonish voice" comment, though. Even I wanted to rip Jenny's face off for that one. When Mia wants to play an evil witch, she sure can pull it off, lol.

Kel's picture

The recap is totally 100%

The recap is totally 100% better than the actual show. Hmmm. Why can't Tibette adopt the baby from Max? I mean, Max's their friend, and he's obviously having issues with pregnancy and the baby.

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

Max's beard needs to be

Max's beard needs to be arrested and put on trial by the fashion police, lol. Laughing out loud

Trine S. Rasmussen's picture

Now, even I'm able to see how

Now, even I'm able to see how ridiculous this show has become. Nonetheless I love the characters, because the cast play them so beautifully. And I must admit, all these 'Days Of Our Lives' plots make me laugh so hysterically that I'll continue to watch 'til the end. It's not the good ol' witty banter (I'm of course mostly thinking Alice here) that I used to love about the L Word, but it's just so absurd that I can't help but laugh myself to pieces.

/ letting the demise of good writing off easy.

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

I doubt IC could afford me,

I doubt IC could afford me, lol!

Many women who are in athletics or in military units that are physically demanding can stop having menstrual cycles, thickening of body hair, and in rare cases facial hair development. This is largely reversible by what you did, changing diet and exercise levels. Women have both estrogen and androgen (testosterone) in a certain balance, and vigorous exercise can reduce the former enough to cause hair growth and other issues.

Max's beard appears to be typical for males of European ancestry, even for FtM's on HRT. Because Max's beard was caused by HRT, his facial hair is very different from what athletic or post-menopausal women experience, since a trans-man's testosterone levels are considerably higher. Once that sort of facial hair growth starts, only electrolysis can stop it.

Max needs to either clean that beard up (cut and trim), or just shave it off. Right now, it makes him look dirty and scruffy. Most of the trans-men, and even regular men, I know don't go for the "homeless" look. Those that do usually are. They know it's a huge turn off to both women and gay men.

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

Kind of happens when the

Kind of happens when the writers don't know what they are writing about. I suspect they are mostly going by what they hear in the clubs and such, which is hardly reliable information (on any topic, lol).

I know "Max" was taking testosterone at the start, at least until backing out of getting the "top" surgery (radical double mastectomy). I don't remember if he continued on HRT after that, mainly because the character is so unrealistic as to be painful to watch.

One thing is certain, though. In order to become pregnant, "Max" would have had to discontinue HRT long enough to begin the ovulation cycle, usually within a month. I'm assuming certain things here, like Max having been on HRT for at least 6 months. It is still possible for him to have become pregnant during the first few months of HRT.

One thing is very certain, no doctor in their right mind who wishes to retain their license will prescribe HRT for trans-men who are pregnant, as it would definitely be harmful to the fetus (multiple birth defects, including hypergonadism, retardation, extremely low birth weight, etc).

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

LOL, yeah, but I live these

LOL, yeah, but I live these issues. Besides, I'm easy and cheap. Wink

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

More like dropping the

More like dropping the trailer with the landing gear still up, and the rig still moving at highway speeds? Both loud and annoying, and just a bit scary to boot!

Yeah, that's the sound, lol! Laughing out loud

Julia Watson's picture

From your lips to God's ears,

From your lips to God's ears, baby.

Allegra's picture

May be the weather is not so

May be the weather is not so cold and afterall Shane now has Jenny to warm her.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Alright Tae, you've got me

Alright Tae, you've got me there.... I trust your 'educated', or should I say 'stimulated' opinion.


Not2Taem's picture

LBDL, Because I respect your


Because I respect your opinion so much, I forced myself to carefully review every last naked scene I could find. And I do mean very carefully. Doesn't look bony to me. Way too muscular to qualify bony.


LongBeachDogLover's picture

My Dear Tae......... "Could

My Dear Tae.........

"Could the horrible pocket possibly be a deliberate device to take your eyes off Kate’s usually flawless abs?"

Huh? Do you mean her flawless ribs? Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Not To Fond of Bones,

Not2Taem's picture

Do you know the old Girl

Do you know the old Girl Scout song, I Have Something in My Pocket? Laughing out loud

Pugs's picture

"Finally, was anyone else

"Finally, was anyone else disappointed that Shane didn’t somehow pull down the staircase to the attic during all of this closet purging drudgery?"
Yes, Julia, I keep wondering why Shane hasn't wondered where her jacket is? From the looks of her closet, she doesn't have many clothes anyway. Why hasn't she missed that jacket? OH shit! I just realized I'm applying logic to this nonsense. My bad!

TheInsomniac's picture

OK, the

OK, the Natasha/Rocky/Bullwinkle accent suggestion... I laughed so loud I scared my cat. THEN, I finished reading the re-cap, read comments, thought about a comment of my very own, went back to that Natasha line, laughed out loud again, louder. My comment is that Julia should be writing FOR television (even if you detest the idea, for our sake, just one little sitcom per week. Is that too much to ask?) Would you consider it, please?!! Thanks.


lucia_2008's picture

LBDL...Professor Crandall

LBDL...Professor Crandall knows a couple of authors who can assist you with understanding the gender issues. Wink is good!!!

lucia_2008's picture

Alice was funny seasons 1 &

Alice was funny seasons 1 & 2. Your right she has become annoying and obnoxious. I looked forward to her scenes at one point, but now, Alice is just boring. is good!!!

Annie Oakley's picture

O/T but on topic for this

O/T but on topic for this blog in general:

PLEASE VIEW, SIGN AND PASS AROUND!!! (it's soooo nice!)

Allegra's picture

The cycle of suspects is

The cycle of suspects is getting bigger, Nikki, Tina and Max expressed their feelings that they want to kill Jenny.
I think until the last episode all they would have a reason for killing her, even me. Too much mystery !!!
By the way Julia your surname reminds me Sherlock Holmes' companion Dr Watson Wink
and something else..... I love Dylan !

Julia Watson's picture

Alice still has moments of

Alice still has moments of being wonderful to watch (*see episode 603), but overall it seems like the writers have taken her personality (all the charming neuroses and fiestiness) and just overrun it all with condescension, self-righteousness, and snobbery. Plus, a lot of her dialogue now makes her sound dumb, stating the obvious and whatnot.

My favorite scene ever from this show was her coming out flashback during season one's Dinah Shore trip episode. (Okay. That and "Too Hot.") Leisha Hailey is so crazy talented, and initially she made Alice one of the most delightful fictional characters I'd ever seen onscreen... so it's terribly disappointing, what's going on with her character these days.

Steph H's picture

Hi PK :-) Oh I fear you may

Hi PK Smile

Oh I fear you may be right.... I mean we do get it on telly here but it is usually aired at some ridiculous hour on a school night and I can't BEAR the ad breaks. Plus it's nice to re-watch the good eps from days of yore...

When the pound was strong against the dollar it was a no brainer but I feel I may have to think twice this year. High price and poor quality do not a happy camper make.

Good to see you btw!!

Steph xoxox

peacekitty's picture

Hi Julia, hi Steph :) Oh

Hi Julia, hi Steph Smile

Oh my, oh my. What on earth happened to the L-word? Julia you were right, after one fun episode it's back to the worst writing on television. Ever.

My 16-year-old nephew's drama class wrote a better skit than anything we've seen on the L-word this season.

They should have let Jennifer Beals write this season. She at least has a Yale English degree.

That's all I'm saying. Sorry Steph, you really might want to think twice about buying the DVD set this season. Stare

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

Annie Oakley's picture

Waiting... waiting...

Waiting... waiting... waiting... for Tibette (either one) to take that long awaited daughter into their arms and TALK TO HER AND ACTUALLY HAVE A DIALOGUE WITH HER!!

I haven't seen that happen one time so far, ever. When do they EVER spend any quality time with her? She's like an accessory they occasionally schlepp around and then set aside. Really, they should have just gotten a cat.

As for the rest, c'mon it's so silly it just cracks me up. 'Cept Alice's baby-voice which really got on my nerves this episode.

Steph H's picture

Oh no oh no oh no!! Why you

Oh no oh no oh no!! Why you no likey Alice no more? Alice had me from Season 1 with the line about waxing bum hair and my loyalty has never waned. Is this what Season 6 is doing? I can't bear it, I truly can't! Sad

Julia Watson's picture

I'm getting to the point

I'm getting to the point where if Jenny wasn't on the show, Alice would start to be my least favorite character. She was my favorite the first couple seasons. It makes me sad. Sad

Annie Oakley's picture

CMW should be advising the

CMW should be advising the show on Max. But I wonder about that beard too...there was a point where I started getting facial AND stomach hair(!). It stopped after eating a diet higher in soy, but may have also had to do with level of exercising. At any rate, my hormones did affect my hair growth which (face and stomach) simply disappeared.

One thing's for sure: LongBeach, you are thinking WAYYYYYY TOOO MUCH for the Lword!!

Julia Watson's picture

Yeah, it was reeeeally bad. I

Yeah, it was reeeeally bad. I had a really bitchy line in the original draft of this recap calling the writers out on this season's especially atrocious expository dialogue... alas, it was cut for length.

I begin to wonder if they didn't sandwich this ep between two Angela Robinson eps purposely, just to bribe us back next weekend...

Julia Watson's picture

Professor, I think you're on

Professor, I think you're on to something. I would venture that Shane's increasingly crazy locks are threatening to steal the thunder from Jenny as the creature that makes this creature feature tick!

Grr. Arrgh.

Professor Crandall's picture

You were dealt a difficult

You were dealt a difficult hand here, scribe of our collective lesbian drama, but well-played once again! i've still yet to catch up on the online viewings (this weekend?), but sad/happy to see Shane's swamp creature hair is swampy-er than ever! what's your take on that toilet bowl head??!

Lezbeth's picture

I just noticed that pocket

I just noticed that pocket placement. What the hell were they thinking?

Lezbeth's picture

Thanks for the info CMW.

Thanks for the info CMW. From what you said, I get that this entire story line isn't plausible if Max was still getting HRT. Didn't he say he was "taking testosterone"? Is this another L Word fable that has no link to what's possible? Yikes! If so, that's a terrible disservice to all of us--misinformation as a by-product of attempted inclusion.

Not2Taem's picture

If it was a truck, I'd say

If it was a truck, I'd say they left their transmission on the road.

Not2Taem's picture

LOL Though all that lean

Though all that lean muscle she's been sporting would be hard to achieve a la the malnourished model diet. Smile

Xanadu's picture

Kate's probably just been

Kate's probably just been indulging in that luxurious thing called 'food', after being deprived of it for years now ... the perils of having to take your top off at work everyday!

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

And what a loud thud it was,

And what a loud thud it was, lol.

Robin Rigby's picture

Julia, I think calling it a

Julia, I think calling it a snoozefest is being too kind. Last night's episode featured what I am quite sure was simply the worst, most leaden, improbable, ridiculous, on the nose writing of any episode of this show in it's entire history. In fact, it may be the worst writing I've seen in any TV show in a very, very long time.

I was so grateful when it ended and I got to watch USofT. But even that wasn't quite as much fun as it has been in prior episodes. Overall, a terrible night of TV viewing. I certainly hope "Chuck" makes up for it tonight.

Not2Taem's picture

Strongest part of the episode

Strongest part of the episode was the way they addressed the birth mother and her family, given the minuscule amount of time.

Shenny - OK, so we take the former street kid who was SO enthused about having her own room and let JennyWitch take it away from her. It actually starts off doable with the Crazy Jenny Show comment. But then she just gives in; Next time just ask me first. This is so Tina! This is simply not a Shane line. I'm all for seeing our little girl grow up, and I wouldn't even mind her letting the self centered little @#$% have her way, given the enormity of guilt she should be feeling. But in a matter of seconds? With that line?

And hello, what is with the "fashion" in this muckerey? I mean, what the hell is with the shirt in that picture? Hello, I'm Shane and I am fashion challenged. I has been one whole season since they gave me a decent outfit. A pocket like a drooling gaping maw right below her precious tit? Totally weird idea here, but look at that photo one more time. Could the horrible pocket possibly be a deliberate device to take your eyes off Kate's usually flawless abs? Could that be a little skinny girl suddenly showing at 5 months bump? I know, probably just some thing with the angle, right?

Finally, was anyone else disappointed that Shane didn't somehow pull down the staircase to the attic during all of this closet purging drudgery?

minniesota's picture

I'm just so glad that Max

I'm just so glad that Max gave Jenny the finger. I would have given her something worse like my mug o' Planet coffee in her lap.

Tag for this episode: Writing that goes thud!

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Not2Taem's picture

I thought the VIP lounge was

I thought the VIP lounge was where the previous owners previously made out with Shane. I don't that it was ever mentioned that it was upstairs. Maybe the balcony was added in the Casablanca makeover? The thing that gets me is that it is so different already from the place where Shane passed out in the little floating egg chair just an episode or 2 ago.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Thank you CMW..... as always,

Thank you CMW..... as always, I appreciate your knowledge and honesty. You are beyond awesome. Laughing out loud


lucia_2008's picture

The only scenes thus far in

The only scenes thus far in Season 6 that are good have been the Tina and Bette scenes. I just love Tina!!! She is so pretty this season. (blush and a little smile)

Some of Alice's have been funny but predictable.

Max needs to go on the TV show "What Not to Wear" and get a complete makeover. is good!!!

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

Yeah, he's starting to look

Yeah, he's starting to look like a homeless person. He really needs to get a hair cut and trim the beard or something, that whole 1960's hippy look is a bit too retro.

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

Once the beard starts

Once the beard starts growing, only electrolysis can stop it.

And, yeah, the hormone replacement therapy would have harmed the fetus, or more likely terminated the pregnancy. Max had to already have discontinued HRT in order to get pregnant to begin with, and most likely never resumed it once learning he was pregnant.

Gotta be scared as hell right now, transgender, pregnant, and alone.

You probably know way more about trans-issues just dealing with me than most medical professionals, so don't knock your perceived lack of knowledge. Just keep doing what you've been doing, when you have a question just ask. If I don't know the answer, I probably know where you can find it.

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

Once again, a great recap!

Once again, a great recap!

LongBeachDogLover's picture

How is Max growing a beard?

How is Max growing a beard? His hormones are obviously all 'woman' right now...... he has a baby growing inside of him.

Wouldn't the 'transition' drugs harm a growing fetus? It seems like that would be logical. I know, I should already know these things.....but, I just don't understand.

**I wish that I knew more about trans issues, I feel like an awfully uneducated lesbian. I have a very close friend who is MTF, fully transitioned. We don't talk too much about it. And, I suppose like all of my other girlfriends, the things that we talk about rarely have anything to do with our gender or sexual identity. Just girl stuff......**