Believing in Love

I believe in sex and I believe in love. Yet, we often confuse the two by using one to access the other.

Let me tell you a story.

The founder of Aikido was a man named Morihei Ueshiba who died at the age of 85 in 1969. Although Ueshiba was the grandson of a great Samurai warrior, as a young boy he was described as a day-dreaming pacifist. He loved to hear stories about the great ninth century Japanese saint of Buddhism, Kobo Daishi. It is believed that Kobo Daishi never died, but one day sat to meditate and went into a profound state of Samadhi from which he never arose. A shrine was built above his seated body on Mount Koya (the place he performed his spiritual practices) and is still visited by monks and seekers today who experience a deep state of inner absorption there.

Morihei Ueshiba’s tranquil childhood was abruptly broken when his father was beaten up by a couple of thugs. Ueshiba then decided to study martial arts. He became accomplished in sumo wrestling, Jujutsu and swordsmanship. In 1903, Japan entered into the Russo-Japanese War followed by the World Wars. During these decades, Ueshiba was enlisted in the army. Ueshiba had become a fearsome warrior navigating the world using his might and skill.

One day, after a fight defeating a naval officer during which Ueshiba broke the officer’s wooden staff with his bare hands, Ueshiba took a walk in a garden. Suddenly, the ground began to shake and he was enveloped by a golden light. In Ueshiba’s own words he described: “All at once I understood the meaning of creation; the Way of a Warrior is to manifest Divine Love, a spirit that embraces and protects all things.”

At the end of Ueshiba’s life he contracted stomach cancer, yet he was as devoted to his practice as his students were devoted to him that he visited his Aikido Dojo everyday. His illness had made him so frail that he had to be carried to the Dojo. But once inside, when Ueshiba hit the mat, he became full of vigor and conducted class with the energy of his youth.

I believe that sex is an art, like a martial art. It is an activity that our bodies perform that lead us to a state of oneness. Sex performed with skill and acuity is a path to our heart. That little warm death we call an orgasm is a brief moment of nothingness, a deep and profound experience of our own pure self.

I believe we confuse commitment with devotion. Commitment is fueled by the fear of loss. Devotion is fueled by love. I believe that love is not a possession; it is the quality of our very heart that we cultivate throughout our lifetime. Love is something we bring to everything we do and hopefully everyone we meet.