The L Word 511 recaps by Iris McQuillan-Grace 3/18/08

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Can we just dial the drama down a notch or two. I know we only have ONE more episode before the end of this season. But seriously... lets not just throw plot on top of plot for the sake of plot, k? Oh — you're going to anyway, Ok, that's cool too! More for me to write then!

WHY IS LEZ GIRLS going to be the WORST and most CAMPY movie EVER made. EVER! An example for the straight community MY ASS! How is bad acting, and stupid camera moves going to inspire millions of people and open their eyes to the ignorant stereotypes about hot lezzies living in LA? Hmm? I ASK you!

Back in real life:

All of the ladies are brooding at the Planet. And everyone has a 'tude. Seems like our ladies synched up on the pink ride and now everyone is on the rag — or just about to hit the pad, so to speak. I know what you girls need to lighten up: Enter Beelzebub Denbo and her horned beast Lover Cindi show up and drop the bomb that they own 51% of the planet now. I know. I had to be reminded to breath too- as if the waters of this Nightmare couldn't get anymore crowded. Here comes Jodi. With a BIG FUCKING CHIP ON HER SHOULDER ( I don't know about you, but there was NO WAY I was missing this train wreck).

And then the big break up happens, sorta. Despite Jodi looking really Hot and proclaiming that she wants to fight for Bette — cue obligatory break up sex, almost interrupted by the phone....and then really interrupted by Bette. Why, kids, do lesbian breakups take soooooo long? Honestly- why can't it just be a quick cup of coffee, maybe a roll in the hay- and then “adios, see you at karaoke Tuesday!”. Jodi I'm sorry. But you should never fight a losing battle - you only end up getting hurt. Take the loss and be grateful you let yourself love that much at all- now pack up your stuff-and move on after you give Bette the birthday present you bought her, that is. Nothing says lets break up, like TAG HEUR.

I have to give it up though, to the writer responsible for the Tasha and Alice's apt hunting one-liners: “I hope you bleed soon — I really do” and