The L Word 509 recaps by Iris McQuillan-Grace 3/08/08

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Disclaimer: This is the episode where everyone gets some . EVERYONE. So if you have to beg, borrow or steal to see it. Do so. Seriously. Sell your liver on the black market if you have to. Sure you won't be able have alcohol ever again, but at least you won't have missed out on the hotness I witnessed tonight!

Its hot in LA today ladies... and you know what people see in heat.: Mirages, Dehydration. Tempers flare, and the Elmo tattoo on your actor's ass won't stay covered cause the makeup is melting. Rolling Blackouts in LA do more than just take out the lights.

On the set of Lez Girls we open this episode with a bang, literally. Jenny has trouble getting Nikki to hate having fake sex with her costar. And an even bigger problem when she finds out that Nikki has had sex with her costar in real life. Hell hath no fury like a Jenny scorned. But Jenny doesn't freak out, she just she fires Greg. And then calms down, after a phone call from an absent Monsieur, she goes off screen to apologize and get the “ dumb shit actor boy” back in the picture.

Joyce and Phyllis are sitting in Phyllis' office. Sexual tension abounds as they discuss how awesome it will be to kick ass in Phyllis' impending divorce. Seems like Phyllis is having second thoughts- and that Joyce is enjoying that. Can't wait to see who drops trow first Smile My money is on Joyce. She so seems like a top.

Kit is piling bags of ice and talks about the negations at SheBar with Alice and Tasha. Apparently Dawn Denbo is all contrite now- or so her loquacious invitations say... hmmm?

Jodi and Bette are so hot they go to Bette's house and jump in the pool, when Tina calls and they discuss Angie, therapy, their tension. It makes Tina so uncomfortable that she has to go spill her guts to Sam ( whose less than thrilled to be that girl!).

Back poolside, Jodi calls Bullshit ( literally) and Bette says that she loves Tina. Too bad she's too chicken-shit to tell it to her face. Deflect, Bette, deflect. Quick! Try and say something plausible. That's it, complain about work. That always makes Jodi stop listening....oh wait. No, instead it just makes Jodi tell you wants you