The L Word 506 recaps by Iris McQuillan-Grace 1/22/08

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How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice Practice Practice. And that's where we start this weeks episode: Mid way through pee stream rehearsal. And the ever popular, “this is how lesbians fuck” rehearsal. Jenny put it perfectly when she said, “You know it might be nice if you look like you're giving her actual pleasure instead of moving furniture.” Must be why you felt the need to call in the Lesbian Sex coach Jen, I can't WAIT to see how that turns out. Incoming! The lesbian sex coach! ( I just jumped and giggled while clapping my hands—you know you did too!)

Shane is learning some things too: how to apologize for fucking someone else's girl for instance. She shows up at Shebar hat in hand and waving her white flag high. Dawns ultimatum: have Jenny use Shebar in her movie, at the expense of Kit's planet. Dawn threatens to “fuck” the planet while lover Cindi is still asking for Shane to call her. Women.

Alice and Tasha break up. Alice calls bullshit and says Tasha doesn't trust her. Tasha says that's not it, its just that they're not right for each other. Alice is getting a shot to be on TV on what is supposed to The View and then tells Tasha, she doesn't know what she dreams of. This doesn't feel over yet though, at least it doesn't to Alice whose so broken up about that she can't even get through a pod cast without seriously tearing up and using the old, “I'm allergic to mascara” excuse. Poor Alice. If we were friends I would come to your house with chick flicks and pints of Ben and Jerry to take away your pain.

Tina drops in early on Bette making dinner and a subtext filled “who taught you to cook” moment. Bette and Tina make out and feel each other up in the kitchen, and in the bedroom they do it! Key thing here Bette: stop talking, just fuck. Talking reminds you that you're cheating. P.S. Laurel Holloman has been working out since giving birth to her baby! That girl looks good—and has a really dirty mouth, which Bette didn't seem to mind, by the by! Its a good thing Angie and auntie Kit aren't getting back from Disneyland for a couple of hours. Looks like you guys

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