The L Word 504 recaps by Iris McQuillan-Grace 1/30/08

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I almost peed waiting for this episode after watching the trailer-and then I got short-changed because this episode was only 47 min long. Where the hell’s my other minuets?! You can’t just end the episode with Bette and Tina making out and not give me a full hour of that hot-ness! Ilene I implore you. Bring back my missing 13 min. I will give you a 1,000,000,000. Ok I won’t. But not ‘cause I don’t want to, but because I’m a free-lance writer/actor/teacher/20something who’s, you know, poor.

I especially liked the beginning of this week’s episode. We go behind the scenes of Lez Girls’ casting session. And being an actor who used to work in casting, I know a little something about auditions. I have to give it to the writers for showing how it really is. There are some who rock, and then there are some who stumble on the lines and slap the air (or the reader). And all this in front of people who will review the tapes and decide behind closed doors as to the “fuckable” quality of each and every one of them. And my mom wonders why I moved back east from LA.

Shebar? Could the planet have some competition? Who could even pay attention when all the L word ladies started punching bags and screaming “NO” at each other. Shane, you stay strong, even if you have hot fitness instructors throwing themselves at the vagina you seemed to have dropped somewhere (Alice said it, not me). Just keep playing your video games and imagining everyone around you naked while you’re chowin’ down on your new sex substitute: chocolate.

Cat’s out of the bag about your blog Max. And Alice is none too pleased, which I find just a tad hypocritical. How could you be a bisexual lady and try to keep some queers out of the loop? Who died and made you the Diction of Lord Acton “All queer women are equals but some queer women are more equal than others?” I don’t think so.

NO F’ing WAY!!!! Velvetpark Narc’d on Alice to the Army! I can’t believe I write for the magazine that out-ed Tasha….I feel bad….but no so bad I stopped writing this recap. But, you know, bad in the way I do for any fictional character and now Alice is running around de-gay-ifing her apartment and