The L Word 501 recaps by Iris McQuillan-Grace 1/16/08

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Ok ladies lets get caught up! Season five opens with possibly one of the most inspired and terrifying images the L Word has ever seen. Tina hitting on Jenny.

Don't worry its not real. It just pages from Jenny's script Lez Girls coming to life, so to speak. I love the idea of making a movie within a movie idea—its so rife with all those lovely “what-if's” that just couldn't happen in “real life.” Can't wait to see where they go with this one.

Is it just me or is anyone else terrified by Jenny's oh so satisfied little grin right before the opening credits roll? What happened to the little crazy girl we all didn't understand? Its like the many faces of Jenny. Why doesn't anybody ( like Tina for instance) slap the smart ass right off of her? Please tell me that's gonna happen during Turkish Oil wrestling—please!

Bette and Tina are on the “pre-school” circuit, lobbying hard to get little Angelica into the best of the best no matter what. I really love that whole preschool power struggle, but Bette, can't you see how eager Tina is to have people believe you guys are still together? ( Hint Hint )

Oh Helena! How adorable are you while getting arrested! She doesn't seem afraid, just annoyed about being around all that filth and horrible prison food. With bail set so high, and her mother no where to found, Helena should get comfy—doesn't look like she's getting out of there anytime soon. She better be careful though, who knows what her scary (and ripped) bunkmate did to end up there, something tells me with a bod like that it wasn't shop-lifting. You sure you don't just want to tell someone where the money went?

We cut to “Alice in lesbo-land”: her weekly podcast for OurChart (if only, right?) This week she's profiling Phyllis, whose all about taking down the lesbian “lingo” and calling Alice “vanilla” in the process. Apparently Alice needed a little chocolate before she could spice up her sex life.

Interestingly enough “Alice in Lesbo-Land” is a show for lesbians, bisexuals and their “friends”, but named only for the lesbians. How quickly we Bi ladies are forgotten, and I love how quick Max is to point that out as well.

Alice: “OurChart is for lesbians”