The L Word 411 recaps Janine Avril

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I'm I am sorry for the delay folks. I was in Iraq, fighting for my country. Plausible? Not really. Well, neither is Alice dating Tasha. I just can’t get down with their match. It feels forced and unrealistic, especially when Alice shows up all uppity, high femme and pissed off at the military base. I feel like I’m watching a lesbo episode of MASH and it feels ridiculous. But I am curious what footage they got those flashbacks from.

Angus should get lost already. Kit was right. He sure wasn’t thinking about her when the nanny's lips were on his dick. I’m disappointed that a schmuck like him has led her back into a life of drinking, drugging and all other sorts of debauchery. We need some sober people on this show to give us some hope. Secondly, I don’t know why we needed Papi to go down on Kit to establish, yet again, that Kit is not a lesbian. Wasn’t this established Season One when Ivan the drag king was still in the mix? Why does this theme have to continually be established? Wasted air time! Jodi is leaving on a red eye to New York. I will miss her voice. Sometimes, in the privacy omy own thoughts, on a reverie on the subway en route to work, I hear her talking. There is something infectious about the oddity of her speech. Does anyone else feel this way? Even though, admittedly, I would be scared half to death to get into a relationship with someone who spouts out as many disclaimers as she does, I do have an affinity for her voice…I will also miss her bravado in standing up to the tyrannical Bette. I will also miss her fighting with other deaf girls in sign. I don’t want to speak too soon, but I don’t think that she and Bette could work. (At least anywhere but television) Actually, I think Tina called Bette’s number when she said that for the first time Bette met someone who was as strong willed as she was who wouldn’t just put up with her shit. Realistically, I think Bette needs someone much more passive than Jodi. Not because such a person would uplift her spiritually, but because someone more passive is probably the only type of someone that could put up with her type A antics and such.

Moving forward with my critique, if I was a straight man, I would be pissed at the writer of this episode. The dykes certainly had their chance to rage when Tina was switching teams, but now it’s the men that have their right to be furious. The thesis is clear: mean are “boring” and that’s why women will ultimately return to women, even if they take a detour and fall in love with a man for an extended period of time. I was trying to decide if I agreed with this thesis and I have to say that ultimately, I don’t. I think what determines if a woman returns or not is just how satisfying her hetero detour is. Guys are not quintessentially boring, although I think that sometimes they can be less complicated than women in the way that they respond to matters. (I don’t want to pigeonhole myself here with any gender generalizations. Have I already done so?) I respect Max for leaving his company and for finding a girlfriend more apropos than Jenny the loon.

What I do find hard to comprehend is how Alice, a freelancer, is going to be paying Max some sort of competitive salary. Will she give him health benefits too? And what is she going to do when Tasha gets shipped back to Iraq? First Dana dies and now she’s going to have to worry that her new girl might be blown to smithereens? What a lovely way to end the season. We didn’t see Helena much this week or her crackpot, gambling despicable girlfriend…thank god. And did you get the feeling that Shane is much more intrigued by nine year old Jared than by Paige? The question I leave you with, is what will the hellish consequence be of Jenny trashing Bette (also known as “Bev”) in Lez girls? Stay tuned for commentary on the season finale! I can’t believe it’s nearly here!!!