The L Word 401 recaps Janine Avril

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the writer’s studio) and now it is Claude she’s banging right in front of Max. While I really can’t blame her for shacking up with Claude after being stuck with Max for all of Season Three, she really could demonstrate a little more tact towards people that have feelings for her.

Back to selling points: I applaud Jenny’s fuck off speech to Max. She will not be a “straight girl” to his “straight guy” because she is a lesbian who likes to fuck women. Well put. I’d feel the same way. Being straight once was most definitely enough. But just one question…wasn’t Jenny totally into Max’s transition last season? Didn’t she herself inject his black market testosterone? Did she know deep down in her devious little narcissistic mind that the minute he grew a beard she’d be kicking him right down Melrose Boulevard? In any case, I can empathize with a lesbian not wanting to be a straight girl again, specifically with her ex girlfriend.

I’m excited to see the trials and tribulations of Max going on a date with his boss’s daughter. How the hell is he going to explain to her that there is nothing between his legs but a packed silicone cock? This totally intrigues me, and I think this storyline is a nice portrait of the trans mans dilemma. How does he go about dating when women don’t know he’s trans? I see a Boy’s Don’t Cry motif written all over this, but I’m hoping for a better outcome. No murders hopefully although with Little Chicken Inc, who knows?

I am really enjoying the Helena riches to rags storyline. I actually found myself having anxiety that she was going broke. Projection probably, even if to her being broke is not being able to buy $3500 boots and to me being broke is being unable to make rent because I’ve eaten far too many eight dollar salads at Whole Foods. But I found my heart palpitating while pondering the question, “What is Helena going to do?”

She was soaking her feet in her gorgeous Malibu swimming pool, knowing that pretty soon she’d be crashing on Alice’s futon, eating T.V dinners. Welcome to the real word Helena, by American standards of course. By far, the greatest line of the evening was Helena’s when she said, “I never knew that being poor could make me feel all warm and fuzzy.” Genius satire. I can’t wait to see how it all plays out.

Alice is back and better than ever despite the recent death of her best friend. She is busy coaching Helena to accept the fate of her downward spiral towards third world poverty, keeping “Our Chart” alive, and about to embark on a serious mission to locate “Papi” who has allegedly slept with over 1000 women. Disgusting. I hate Papi already. As much as I love women, that is truly repulsive as well as ludicrous. Which steers me away from my selling points and straight to what was way over the top about this episode:

1) The mere suggestion that any woman has been in contact with more than 1000 other vaginas.
2) The storyline of an abortion clinic in Los Angeles being staffed with born again Christian, bible thumping, pro life poco loco monsters.
3) Shane as action figure.

And I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy that all in one day Shane nearly drowned in the Pacific Ocean drugged up, crashed Sherri Jaffe’s car, broke her nose and then walked all the way home bleeding half to death to find her long lost brother on her doorstep. Too much drama packed in there.

Sherri Jaffee was out of character. Family woman gone coke head?

Marina returning also got under my skin. At the very least, I wanted her and Jenny to make love passionately. It would have been really hot to see Jenny have her first love back, albeit for a little while before Marina either tried to kill herself again or admitted to Jenny that she had another girlfriend in Italy. The word on the street these days is that people don’t change, but it would have been cool to see more about Marina’s journey from being suicidal to truly getting her shit together and starting her own dance company. Instead, all we got was Marina telling us that she was staying at the Bel Aire (the site of her attempted suicide) and Jenny and Claude headed there to have a ménage a trois with her. Let me pose a question to all you thinkers out there…How sexy is taking your new girlfriend to have sex with you and your first love at the place where your first love nearly fucking killed herself over you!

All in all, I was pleased with the episode and will be back with more commentary.

Until next week.